Doonesbury by Garry Trudeau for July 08, 2023

Good thing Mark has a steady job.

I know a better and less stressful way to make money: find a job.

Well, Chase—was it all worth it??

Did he have to pay taxes?

Day trading. They use to make it seem like a glamorous gig, especially before the collapse of the world trade centers. Now, I’m not sure how it’s viewed now. Kind of like the paint on my walls I suppose. I know it’s there, but it’s so common that I simply don’t care.

Why bottled water, specifically?

A month ago I took $100 to the casino to play slots. I’m not a fan of slots, but I hadn’t been there in years. I had a nice relaxed hour and quit when I was up $40.

Well, this certainly does explain why the stock market is what it is

Just a second. Here come the after closing numbers. He is now down 10K!

If he makes a 0.33% gain on each of 250 trading days, his gain will be 128% over the year. That is spectacularly good!

With all of the insider trading, it’s a fixed game.

My uncle used to gamble on horse races. That was quite literally his job: he wrote about horse racing, published some books on betting strategies, had a tip sheet with a large subscriber base, and did seminars at various race tracks. He even had a videotape that he sold. Every day that the horses were running he’d be at the track. He didn’t bet every day but watching was part of the business. There were days when he did bet and he didn’t win. There were days when he bet and didn’t win a lot of money. And then there were days when he bet and won big. There were more of the first type of days than the second, about equal numbers of the second and the third, but there were enough of the fourth type that he had a nice healthy bank account, a nice house, and a good car, plus he had time for golf and travel. The rewards weren’t always big but when he hit they more than made up for the days when he lost money or made small amounts.

Played poker all night once, up $5. Another player laffed at the pitiful amount of winnings. I didn’t mention he was down $1600. I guess he was proud his number was bigger than mine in an absolute sense.

I tried it, learned I have add & no patience.

Is Perrier a thing anymore? If it is he will probably blow all his earnings on it. …sad

Such is the life of a day trader.

Why the market is a mess

Meanwhile, some 13-year-old kid who spent all day in the hot sun picking grapes made almost that much.

Please keep your hands inside the stock certificate on this ride…

Well, with all that sweating, that’s probably enough for one day’s bottled water. (The good stuff. The kind that’s made from morning dew squeezed out of the wool of virgin sheep.) :)

As usual, it’s the journey, not the destination.

Better than sex!

I remember well the day trading frenzy of the late 90’s . It led to the crazed stock markets we see today.. Before Etrade and other companies were around, the only way to trade stocks was through a stock broker. You would call your broker and tell him what to buy and sell and he did the actual trades.. Because they were the experts they could steer you away from dangerous or stupid investments like Day Trading. Once idiot could buy and sell stocks the markets went nuts because you had people who knew nothing trading stocks on a whim and a prayer. I remember one guy I worked with losing 75000 in one day and he suicided because he didn’t have the money to cover his loses. A lot of these Day Trading companies allowed you to buy on margins so you could buy thousands of dollars of stock with no money down. But if it all was lost you had to pay back all that money and many could not do it. I

Bottled water?! His profit’s down to $32 now!

I don’t believe it. He survived.

If you win $35.00 in Las Vegas most people call it a good day.

Hey,the sound of a nervous breakdown is always good radio programming