Drabble by Kevin Fagan for September 26, 2022

Weighing the pros and cons

And instead of losing weight, Ralph will gain weight. Lots and lots of weight.

But the weight you gain weighs half a ton…

Donuts…the perfect food. First it’s shape …plump, round with a hole through the center. You chew it up into little pieces, swallow and it’s recreated perfectly on you plump, round with a hole through the center.

Eat five pounds of candy and you gain way more than five pounds. It’s just NOT fair!!

none sense! :D

“Boy, you’re gonna carry that weight, carry that weight a long time.”

Yes, but the donut sugar will be converted to fat for long-term storage, which is a different substance with a different density, so weighing it in its pre-digested form doesn’t give you an accurate measure of how much weight you could gain. Meanwhile, the water won’t change form and most of that which isn’t uzed immediately for the conversion of ATP to energy will be excreted within hours. So, not a valid comparison at all.

He will still need the eight glasses of water to wash down those doughnuts, whether or not you filter it through coffee grounds is a personal choice.

I’m pretty sure that donuts weigh more than one ounce apiece.

But you can’t argue with science.

How did that many donuts make it home (presumably from the bakery) without Ralph eating them on the way? I doubt anyone else bought them.