The Duplex by Glenn McCoy for May 09, 2024

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    j_m_kuehl  8 months ago

    well they sure aren’t going for your brains

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    Yakety Sax  8 months ago

    From Not Always Right: My Family And Other Zombies

    (I have had a migraine at work. The manager has called my brother to come pick me up while I take my medication and sit in the staff room with a wet towel over my head. The tablets completely throw me out and whenever someone tries to talk to me I can only muster a grunt.)

    Manager: “He’s just in here. He hasn’t moved much so I think he’s sleeping.”

    Colleague: “No, he’s been moaning every now and again. I rinsed his towel for him.”

    Brother: “Oh, that’s fine. Just typical. Come on then, Zombie-[My Name].” lifting my towel “See, he’s even drooling. He must be hungry. Let’s get you some brains!”

    (He practically carries me out of the store, telling anyone who noticed that I was turning into a zombie. Sadly one family took it seriously and fled the store. I found it hilarious, but I was too drained — I couldn’t show it until after the migraine had passed, two days later.)

    NOT my story.

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    Walrus Gumbo Premium Member 8 months ago

    Actually, Eno, all that beer will make you well marbled with fat. You’d be a delicacy!

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    Sanspareil  8 months ago

    Don’t worry Eno, the zombies are after brains, so you are quite safe!

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    mourdac Premium Member 8 months ago

    No fears from Zombie Flanders.

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    Knightman Premium Member 8 months ago

    Zombies can’t harm you Eno. They can’t get near you by a nose!!!

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    silverclaw33  8 months ago

    Rule #1: Cardio

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    colddonkey  8 months ago

    Your safe they just want your brain which you already lack.

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    assrdood  8 months ago

    The pink fridge will ward them off.

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    PoodleGroomer  8 months ago

    A keg takes up less space and you don’t have to risk going outside with the empties.

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    Jeff0811  8 months ago

    Reminds me of someone I know who would be protected from fat head to big toe.

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    Frank Burns Eats Worms  8 months ago

    He wants to beat ’em to the paunch.

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    the lost wizard  8 months ago

    How does more beer help? Of all the stupid questions. :)

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    KEA  8 months ago

    dunno but I thought Zombies went for brains… oh, wait…

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    wildlandwaters  8 months ago

    c’mon, impkins…where’s the burp…

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    mistercatworks  8 months ago

    They don’t go for the belly. They eat BRAINS!

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    Otis Rufus Driftwood  8 months ago

    Zombies I thought wanted brains. If so, Eno will be fine.

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