For Better or For Worse by Lynn Johnston for December 26, 2018

He must like sleeping with one eye open.

watch it, John

[Hook]

You can’t wear this

You can’t wear this

You can’t wear this

You can’t wear this

[Verse 1]

My, my, my my cooking hits me so hard

Makes me say, “Use more lard”

Thank you for blessing me

With a sis-in-law who knows trendy

It feels good, when you won’t outgrow

A super dope homemom from Milborough

And I dress with flair

And these are the pants, uh, you can’t wear

[Hook]

I told you homemom (You can’t wear this)

Yeah, that’s how we eating and ya know (You can’t wear this)

Look in my eyes, John (You can’t wear this)

You cannot bust the funky beltline (You can’t wear this)

[Verse 2]

Fresh new kicks, and pants

You gotta like that, now you know your confidence

No split outta yo seat

And get a fly mom wearing pants like a sheet

While it’s rollin’, hold on John!

Eating calories and let ‘em know weight’s goin’ on

Like that, like that

Cold cut ambition, more fat you pack

Let ’em know, that you dress with flair

And these are the pants, uh, they can’t wear

John you rotter! Did you REALLY have to include that snap about Ellie’s weight? :(

Just for that, one fat wife coming up!

What happened to the Friendship ring he got last week?

He just loves to put his wife down any chance he gets.

Elly, make like a goose and FLAP his rump!

“You’re so skinny there’s enough room for 2 of you in there,” would have been funnier!

He likes to live … dangerously.

…and that was the last thing he remembered.

There is such a thing as pants being too “baggy”.

Are we still in the MC Hammer days?

Lynn’s Notes:

An actual outfit and an actual quote. Yes, the strip came in handy. I rarely got angry about a comment if I could use it in the strip.

I think Elly has a great body and would show it better by not slouching so much. “Stand up straight” is what my mom used to say. Way to go, Mom.

Trash talk, the antidote to a pleasant relationship.

I finally cut down on sweets and lost 17 lbs. My husband didn’t even notice.

They look like the ‘harem’ pants coming into style…

So much for my speculation about John becoming the nicer guy he was in later years.

If I told you that you have a beautiful body,would you hold it against me?

“Fat Bottomed Girls”….Queen (Freddie Mercury)

At least she didn’t ask the dreaded question: Do these pants make me look fat?

Simmer down, people. He was just criticizing the style, not Elly’s weight. I remember this style – it was designed for slim women as it had a high and wide waistband which looked good on women with flat stomach and the fabric was soft and flowing so it looked nice on women with nice body shape. This style is unflattering on overweight women and John probably had seen it on an overweight woman somewhere – his dental practice, perhaps, so he made this snark. The style is the reason why it ran out fashion pretty quickly – limited to a certain body type.

One of these days John. ONE OF THESE DAYS! BANG, ZOOM, STRAIGHT TO ’DA MOON!

Dead man walking

Mom jeans.

Parachute pants!!! Made famous by MC Hammer!!! They didn’t look so great but they were comfortable!!! LOL!!

He’ll pay for that remark!

Today those pants look so funny when a character wears them on an old TV show like “Family Ties” or “Full House”… I had a few pairs like that. Later on I altered them, when the skinnier leg pants became the style.

The put down joke. And John gets to do it to Elly. It is funny and since no real humans were being insulted we should laugh too.

Another day with the Fattersons (f.k.a. Pattersons).

Doctors said he’ll be released from the hospital this Saturday. Other than that, he’s doing fine.

Careful, mate. She DOES know where you sleep. And tonight, it’s the couch… if you’re lucky.

He might wake up in the ICU!