When I was in college, the “Bank of Mom and Dad” had a very strict Loan Officer, and I knew better than to ask for anything beyond what I needed for basics. I got a job in the dorm cafeteria, a job teaching art to kids at the YMCA, I tutored a few fellow students in classes where I was doing better than they, and did a few library researches for a few of my professors. It wasn’t much money, but it filled in the corners. I also learned to live frugally but comfortably, something which is standing me in good stead now that I am retired and on a fixed income.
Dad borrowed from me. I was working part time as a CNA. Minimum was about $3.55/hr, and I was making $5.50/hr. Even then, but especially now, I pinch pennies so hard, I decapitate Lincoln.
I’ve been teaching this very lesson to my 20-year old and it MIGHT just be sinking in. He’s starting out in skilled trades so he makes decent money for a guy his age. Once I got him to stop “lighting it on fire” he’s been able to put together a nice fat nest-egg for a down payment on a car. He looked at his bank account, then looked at me, and I go the sheepish grin and the “You were right Dad!”
(As a parent, it’s not so much about being right as it is about when they finally start to appreciate the guidance you’ve been giving them.)
Thinking back to one of my college roommates. Daddy was an optometrist and paid for tuition, room, board, books, a car, a phone and gave him $500 spending money every month. He was always broke and even got a part time job to supplement his allowance. Meanwhile I survived on $100 a month I put aside from my second summer job. The full time summer job paid and a part time job during school paid for everything else. I could never understand where he spent his money.
My mom told me holding on to money in your hand without spending it is like holding a fistful of sand. First thing you do is place some in savings. My son became a comparison shopper when I stopped buying him clothes and just gave him a clothing/gas allowance. Then when he was in college he sent me a pic. wearing a pair of jeans he had “scored” at a thrift store. BTW my bank now offers 5%APY on a 7-month CD. They don’t post it, you have to look it up. Makes it fun to save, even if the feds take a cut.
Must be nice to go to college and have not only an allowance but parental money arriving randomly. Instead of working full time and also carrying student loans – and having to budget just to stay above water. Just saying.
On top of that Elly is unemployed. She does not exactly have a surplus disposable income. And no, Elly does not seem to be the type to sponge off her husband.
Boy did I learn that the hard way as an undergrad. It made such an impression on me that for years I was terrified to buy so much as a new book or a train ticket or a pair of jeans. Given how lean some of those years, that frugality wasn’t such a bad thing.
My personal experience with my own parents is that they tend not to understand that things are not as cheap as they were when they did things. My poor sister did not get a scholarship and was completely dependent on my mother for her university money. After several conversations with her mother that were not unlike what Mike is having with Elly here, she had to produce a spreadsheet of all her expenses and prove to her mother that things cost what things cost. Once she saw the spreadsheet, my mother’s eyes were opened as to how much things cost and she stopped fighting with my sister and making accusations of her overspending.
The giveaway with Elly here is “stop buying fast food”. That tells you that fast food was considered by Elly to be less expensive than buying food at the university cafeteria. When I was at school in the 1980s, I found the university cafeteria was not only expensive because they charged a la carte, but the food was terrible tasting. It was extremely disappointing. Fast food was actually cheaper. You could buy a fast food burger for $1 back then. In Elly’s day, going to school in the 1960s, it was probably the other way around.
There were times when I now think I should have asked my Mom for extra money and didn’t. Like when it cost more than half my monthly spending money buying my text books for the semester.
How did Lynn Johnston deal with this is real life? She became a multimillionaire exploiting her family; how much of her windfall did she share with her kids?
Elly: Did you beg for money in the 8-page letta to Rhetta? Yeah, that’s right. Let’s see Rhetta take care of you the way I have since the day you entered this life.
There are some, like myself, with “Executive Function Disorder”, with comorbidities of ADHD … who try their dangest to budget, but it never works. EVER.
GeorgeInAZ 10 months ago
That applies to teens and governments.
snsurone76 10 months ago
Before the lecture, Elly—try to find out WHY he needs the money. Is he in some kind of legal trouble? Is he being blackmailed?
French Persons Premium Member 10 months ago
Hey Michael… I have an idea… GET A JOB.
Macushlalondra 10 months ago
Don’t cave on this Elly. It’s how Michael learns how to be an adult.
LeslieBark 10 months ago
When I was in college, the “Bank of Mom and Dad” had a very strict Loan Officer, and I knew better than to ask for anything beyond what I needed for basics. I got a job in the dorm cafeteria, a job teaching art to kids at the YMCA, I tutored a few fellow students in classes where I was doing better than they, and did a few library researches for a few of my professors. It wasn’t much money, but it filled in the corners. I also learned to live frugally but comfortably, something which is standing me in good stead now that I am retired and on a fixed income.
FreyjaRN Premium Member 10 months ago
Dad borrowed from me. I was working part time as a CNA. Minimum was about $3.55/hr, and I was making $5.50/hr. Even then, but especially now, I pinch pennies so hard, I decapitate Lincoln.
dcdete. 10 months ago
My how fast the themes on For Better or For Worse changes from one to another.
Yesterday someone points out to Elly how wonderful motherly puppy love is!
And today nothing has rubbed off on Elly because she treats her first born son as worthless dirt!
dlkrueger33 10 months ago
Get a part time job on campus. Lots of us did that.
GirlGeek Premium Member 10 months ago
Mike needs to find a part-time job while he’s in school
NeedaChuckle Premium Member 10 months ago
People pay $5 for a coffee than complain about the price of gasoline!
biglar 10 months ago
I’ve been teaching this very lesson to my 20-year old and it MIGHT just be sinking in. He’s starting out in skilled trades so he makes decent money for a guy his age. Once I got him to stop “lighting it on fire” he’s been able to put together a nice fat nest-egg for a down payment on a car. He looked at his bank account, then looked at me, and I go the sheepish grin and the “You were right Dad!”
(As a parent, it’s not so much about being right as it is about when they finally start to appreciate the guidance you’ve been giving them.)
rhpii 10 months ago
Thinking back to one of my college roommates. Daddy was an optometrist and paid for tuition, room, board, books, a car, a phone and gave him $500 spending money every month. He was always broke and even got a part time job to supplement his allowance. Meanwhile I survived on $100 a month I put aside from my second summer job. The full time summer job paid and a part time job during school paid for everything else. I could never understand where he spent his money.
KageKat 10 months ago
It’s the eternal balancing act, even for some older grown-ups!
ladykat 10 months ago
My heart bleeds, Michael.
kittygatos 10 months ago
My mom told me holding on to money in your hand without spending it is like holding a fistful of sand. First thing you do is place some in savings. My son became a comparison shopper when I stopped buying him clothes and just gave him a clothing/gas allowance. Then when he was in college he sent me a pic. wearing a pair of jeans he had “scored” at a thrift store. BTW my bank now offers 5%APY on a 7-month CD. They don’t post it, you have to look it up. Makes it fun to save, even if the feds take a cut.
ilovecomics*infinity 10 months ago
Must be nice to go to college and have not only an allowance but parental money arriving randomly. Instead of working full time and also carrying student loans – and having to budget just to stay above water. Just saying.
cosman 10 months ago
Dad advised before i joined the Army, ‘Devide your monthly pay by 31, that’s your daily to spend less than that.’
Spacetech 10 months ago
He Called…. But no letter..
bilbrlsn 10 months ago
My definition of a rich person is anyone whose income exceeds their outflow.
rebelstrike0 10 months ago
On top of that Elly is unemployed. She does not exactly have a surplus disposable income. And no, Elly does not seem to be the type to sponge off her husband.
Back to Big Mike 10 months ago
Truer words were never spoken.
1502hickam 10 months ago
Exactly. Spot on!
John Jorgensen 10 months ago
Boy did I learn that the hard way as an undergrad. It made such an impression on me that for years I was terrified to buy so much as a new book or a train ticket or a pair of jeans. Given how lean some of those years, that frugality wasn’t such a bad thing.
howtheduck 10 months ago
My personal experience with my own parents is that they tend not to understand that things are not as cheap as they were when they did things. My poor sister did not get a scholarship and was completely dependent on my mother for her university money. After several conversations with her mother that were not unlike what Mike is having with Elly here, she had to produce a spreadsheet of all her expenses and prove to her mother that things cost what things cost. Once she saw the spreadsheet, my mother’s eyes were opened as to how much things cost and she stopped fighting with my sister and making accusations of her overspending.
The giveaway with Elly here is “stop buying fast food”. That tells you that fast food was considered by Elly to be less expensive than buying food at the university cafeteria. When I was at school in the 1980s, I found the university cafeteria was not only expensive because they charged a la carte, but the food was terrible tasting. It was extremely disappointing. Fast food was actually cheaper. You could buy a fast food burger for $1 back then. In Elly’s day, going to school in the 1960s, it was probably the other way around.
cracker65 10 months ago
That’s true
CoreyTaylor1 10 months ago
Isn’t that what John used to say about Elly!?
kamoolah 10 months ago
This is Canada. Michael can’t get food stamps?
Asharah 10 months ago
There were times when I now think I should have asked my Mom for extra money and didn’t. Like when it cost more than half my monthly spending money buying my text books for the semester.
The Great_Black President 10 months ago
Got to wonder if the Pattersons forget they live in Canada.
Michael can get on welfare.
Why is Elly worried about Elizabeth not wearing a hat and coat in the winter months. If Elizabeth gets pneumonia, this is Canada. OHIP, remember?
rob 10 months ago
Think back to when you were his age Elly, I would think that you probably did the same thing as Michael.
kamoolah 10 months ago
How did Lynn Johnston deal with this is real life? She became a multimillionaire exploiting her family; how much of her windfall did she share with her kids?
The Great_Black President 10 months ago
Or this:
Elly: Did you beg for money in the 8-page letta to Rhetta? Yeah, that’s right. Let’s see Rhetta take care of you the way I have since the day you entered this life.
[Unnamed Reader - 14b4ce] 10 months ago
And after Elly hangs up, she rushes off to the big shoe sale at Eaton’s.
raybarb44 10 months ago
Stick to your guns on this one or you will be sorry…..
Allan CB Premium Member 10 months ago
There are some, like myself, with “Executive Function Disorder”, with comorbidities of ADHD … who try their dangest to budget, but it never works. EVER.
HodgeElmwood 10 months ago
Ellie, wasn’t it your job, and John’s, to teach Michael those things?
amanda.elliott3619 10 months ago
tell him to get a job, hes an adult now and should be partying and eating out
eced52 10 months ago
Amen.