When I was a kid, the school across the street would turn off the sprinkler system in the summer and let alone go “dorment”. Two weeks before school started, the gardener would show up and set the lawn on fire. Then he would turn on the sprinklers, and by school time there would be a fresh lawn.
When I lived in a little town in Northen Ontario I was billed $80 a year flat rate for water. People used drinking water to hose off their driveway and I had a gorgeous lawn all summer long. Then we moved to a larger city and I knew we were billed based on usage. Still, how much could it be. So first year, I watered my lawn. Then I got my first trimester bill… well I learned about “dormant” in a heck of a hurry.
The young couple on their honeymoon were about to spend the week camping in Yellowstone, but first they had to listen to the ranger’s orientation speech. He was particularly emphatic about bears. “They’re a protected species, so we’ve got lots of them, but they’re still dangerous. Don’t approach them under any circumstances. And don’t try to outrun them; they’re faster than you are. And climbing a tree won’t help, either; they’re better at it than you.”
The nervous groom asked what they could do about it.
“Well, some people stop by the gift shop and pick up wristlets or anklets with little bells. Sometimes if they hear you coming, they’ll move off before you get there. You can also get cans of pepper spray in case you surprise one. Oh, and be on the lookout for fresh bear scat; that’s a sign that they’re around and you might want to leave.”
“What’s scat?” asked the bride.
“Bear droppings. You can tell what kind of bear it is by what their poop looks like. The smaller ones, black bears, have scat that’s kind of firm and roundish, like dark ping-pong balls. The really dangerous guys, the big grizzlies, have softer, flatter, lighter-colored droppings, kind of like cowpies, except they usually have little bells and smell like pepper.”
GreasyOldTam about 2 months ago
If it’s dormant in the summer, and covered with snow in the winter, it’s only green in spring and fall?
Rhetorical_Question about 2 months ago
No Grizzly Bears?
eromlig about 2 months ago
And if there are grizzly bears around, don’t walk barefoot on the brown grass.
sbenton7684 about 2 months ago
Ahhhh another Frank Zappa reference… good one.
eced52 about 2 months ago
Smart man, Frazz.
Kroykali about 2 months ago
I wish my grass was dormant so I wouldn’t have to mow it.
E.Z. Smith Premium Member about 2 months ago
When I was a kid, the school across the street would turn off the sprinkler system in the summer and let alone go “dorment”. Two weeks before school started, the gardener would show up and set the lawn on fire. Then he would turn on the sprinklers, and by school time there would be a fresh lawn.
Kroykali about 2 months ago
Bryson needs to get one of those fancy electronic signs that are everywhere now.
cervelo about 2 months ago
When I lived in a little town in Northen Ontario I was billed $80 a year flat rate for water. People used drinking water to hose off their driveway and I had a gorgeous lawn all summer long. Then we moved to a larger city and I knew we were billed based on usage. Still, how much could it be. So first year, I watered my lawn. Then I got my first trimester bill… well I learned about “dormant” in a heck of a hurry.
SquidGamerGal about 2 months ago
No, the grass is dead because your school is too cheap to water it.
Uncle Bob about 2 months ago
Did you ever ride your bike down to school to see if they’d but anything up on the bulletin boards yet?
bittenbyknittin about 2 months ago
It’s against my religion to water the lawn.
Richard S Russell Premium Member about 2 months ago
The young couple on their honeymoon were about to spend the week camping in Yellowstone, but first they had to listen to the ranger’s orientation speech. He was particularly emphatic about bears. “They’re a protected species, so we’ve got lots of them, but they’re still dangerous. Don’t approach them under any circumstances. And don’t try to outrun them; they’re faster than you are. And climbing a tree won’t help, either; they’re better at it than you.”
The nervous groom asked what they could do about it.
“Well, some people stop by the gift shop and pick up wristlets or anklets with little bells. Sometimes if they hear you coming, they’ll move off before you get there. You can also get cans of pepper spray in case you surprise one. Oh, and be on the lookout for fresh bear scat; that’s a sign that they’re around and you might want to leave.”
“What’s scat?” asked the bride.
“Bear droppings. You can tell what kind of bear it is by what their poop looks like. The smaller ones, black bears, have scat that’s kind of firm and roundish, like dark ping-pong balls. The really dangerous guys, the big grizzlies, have softer, flatter, lighter-colored droppings, kind of like cowpies, except they usually have little bells and smell like pepper.”
Geophyzz about 2 months ago
In my experience, dormant grass is a myth. When it goes brown, it never comes back.
anomaly about 2 months ago
Don’t mess with brown, if you can help it.
Cactus-Pete about 2 months ago
But bears don’t hibernate. I thought that was well-known by now.