Free Range by Bill Whitehead for December 21, 2024

“Phony” baloney.

Pull my finger.

Why extra rather than limited terrestrials?

“We’ve been trying to reach you about your warranty.”

Proof that there is no intelligent life in the universe.

Aha. Just what the alien astronut theorists was always suspect!

But I don’t have any hangups.

WASSSUP

Those terrestrials were extras in which movie?

Aliens reaching humans with hangups? What?!

The aliens are going to let us cook a little longer before they contact us. We’re not ready for prime time.

It’s been swell but I gotta goooooooooo

That’ll be two bars of gold-pressed latinum.

Well of course the first communications would be with a fifth grader!

You have to wait weeks to hear their response.

Sounds like love!

E.T. phone him.

Or is it “I love you more”?

Your call cannot be completed as dialed. Huh, what’s a dial?