Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for June 21, 2017

Sometimes you have to take a running jump, and you have to back up for distance.

x^11 steps forward, about x^6 steps back, where x is about e^(1.5).

Or else it’s a circular path 14,732,710.5 steps long.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single misstep.

She could sell a futon to a horse.

Your receding hairline becomes that much more noticeable as each step back is taken..

Is this a new mattress? I insist of spraying luminol on it to see if it glows blue in a dark room.

LIST OF BODY FLUIDS: … Amniotic fluid—-Aqueous humor and vitreous humor—-Bile—-Blood—-Blood serum—-Breast milk—-Cerebrospinal fluid—-Cerumen (earwax)—-Chyle—-Chyme—-Endolymph and perilymph—-Exudates—-Feces (diarrhea)—-Female ejaculate—Gastric acid—-Gastric juice—-Lymph—Mucus (including nasal drainage and phlegm)—-Pericardial fluid—-Peritoneal fluid—-Pleural fluid—-Pus—-Rheum—-Saliva—-Sebum (skin oil)—-Serous fluid—-Semen—-Smegma—-Sputum—-Synovial fluid—-Sweat—-Tears—-Urine—-Vaginal secretion—-Vomit

I can’t see the second set of numbers – someone put splotches of red something on my monitor.

P.S. Red Something would be a good name for a Russian hacker’s computer virus.

I always wondered how many stitches were in a Beautyrest.

Take it to the corner.

Its a family run business for human trampolines.

Two nice young ladies showing off their working space.

The girl’s followed Big Guido’s advice and " went to the mattress " .

Sorry, this doesn’t add up.

FREE DOGSNIFF!!!

I find all this banning stuff confusing. So, if someone doesn’t have a lot of friends to plea for his/her release from banishment, does he/she stay banned? Are GC INSIDERs banned less often (after all, they pay)? What does one exactly do to get banned? How many times has DOGSNIFF been banned? Why are people banned in such a furtive, cowardly way? No email saying, “You’ve been banned for such-and-such reason for # days”? Why are people banned with no explanation?

Now we know how many holes it takes to fill the Albert Hall.

Free Enterprise

I have no desire to take 14 million-plus steps forward, or backward, or sideward. I’d rather just borrow that mattress, ladies, and try it out. If I may?

Why does Sr. Teresa insist on trying to keep us in shape? Are we tastier if “in shape”?

@SISYPHOS -

Now who wants a reader that’s all fat and gristle? There’s not enough steak sauce in the world to fix that.