Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for August 06, 2022

Some say I’m susceptible to smothering cuddles. I say I’ll probably die laughing.

I dunno, T. I think it needs to have an appetite for cartoon publishing execs…

I can outlive a cat.

Now, are the readers weak and dying, or are the comic strips weak and dying? Because we have to keep those two separate. The readers will often need oxygen, while the comic strips often need burning.

This is the basis of the film, The Corpse Grinders (https://youtu.be/ErAB0GTUssg)

I didn’t see anything here in the yard. Aside from the splattered gnomes, there was only a cat. The cat was cleaning blood from its paws and face, doing that weird thing where it rubs its face then licks its paws. The cat ignored me. I got scratched by a cat once. I didn’t want to repeat the experience. You think a spray disinfectant won’t sting. But they always do. Moms freak out over stuff like cat scratches. Infection is their boogeyman. Mine is a slithery eel and tentacle thing. It lives in a separate dimension in space and time. But it has a portal to our world, under my bed. When we had the cat, it would hide under my bed. I think it was plotting with the boogeyman. It had those weird eyes that follow you. I never trusted it. Especially after it scratched me. I’d nearly forgotten that cat. I’d nearly forgotten a lot of things. The cat was one of them. I hadn’t seen it in years. I don’t know what happened to it, though. Probably betrayed and eaten by the boogeyman. You can’t trust those things. I spotted an open door. It may as well have had a neon sign, saying “This Way”. I went that way.

Bob Wilkins used to say, “Keep America strong— Watch horror movies.”

Sadly, I don’t think horror movies can restore the vitality you lose when you read a comic strip.

I’m only pretending to be weak and dying. That’s the plan before I strike with a vengeance.

Kitty must have stolen the pig’s lipstick.

Aha. The gnome killer is found. But who’s bloody brains was scarified on that gnome. Who is missing from here? Obviously, everyone who made a comment is safe. Those who don’t check in today, may be dead or dying. Not sure what the lipstick is for, or those are bloody lips.

I love cats, but I never forget that behind their lovability are the instincts of a ruthless predator.

But then, humans have the same instincts. The cats are taking their chances by living with us, too.

Gasp! There will always be fly- by- nights, but true, cuddly fans will always be there, waiting with baited breath, for the next strip to appear, to read, decipher it’s meaning and bit by bit, understanding the message and code. It is not for the weak, and or sensitive……

…there is the tale of a cute kitty cat that lived in a nursing home…

…The cat seemingly knew when one of the patients was near death…

…and would jump on them…

…the question was why did this critter do this…

…was it an angel of death?…

…or just one very rude puddy tat?…

…and if the nursing home truly knew what this animal did …

…why did it not ship this darn cat out the door of this freakin’ place?…

…why was it even there in the first place?…

…I don’t know…

…maybe it’s just an urban legend…

…never really happened…

…I’ll shut up, now…

What this kitty says is one thing. It’s quite another to go about in a face mask. The mask proves the kitty is either concerned about monkeypox or thinks that the color goes with its fur.

I will say I’m sorry that Rita of Cascia (known as “St. Rita”) was forced to live with an abusive, philandering husband and had idiot sons. But my stomach turns at the delusional talk of miracles, and her story is further proof that sainthood is based on a fan club and a motivated press agent.

My twelve years of Catholic school went for naught, I’m glad to say.

Cold blooded Killer for hire.

Have ways will travel..

Here kitty, kitty, kitty ….

“Nothing but the dead and dying back in my little town…”

Killing me cuddlesome with your lame.

Garfield, what happened to you? “Weak or dying comic-strip” indeed…

hey hey that’s a good one. bye

There! You see?

I have said it before: cats are evil!

Now you have it straight from the maw of Satan’s familiar!

I am strong as ox comic reader, and just as smart!

Here, Blue Kitty. Don’t come here.