Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for January 15, 2023

Naked nacho negotiations? Nervy!

I, a quesadilla warrior, stand ready to deploy massive tortillas and melted cheese when you all realize negotiation is futile.

Leave my mamma out of this and we’ll be ready to negotiate the guac and sour cream portion eventually.

She saw his masculine muscle flex and replied…

Nacho Mamma and why not eat this plate of melted tortilla and chez mountains of love handles for joy. Hoy Hoy.

Step 1. Take a shower. Might want to add a step “Get dressed”.

“Solve my nacho problems diplomatically” — not automatically? That is, do as it sounds: “nacho problems” = not yo’ problems!! (Hey, that’s as diplomatically as I can get!!)

That’s nacho cheese, that my cheese.

We don’t need no nacho conflict

We don’t need no cheese control

No spicy cheese dips in the lunchroom

Nachos leave those kids alone

Hey! Nachos! Leave those kids alone.

All in all it was just another Menu war at the Bath Mat Factory

—Pink Frog: Just another Menu War

The naked weigh-in was long a popular opening event of the Genteel Nacho Issue Roundtable. Unfortunately, at one point antisocial media was invented, and ‘polite’ went out the window, along with informed opinions. Although there are now apparently other sites where nakedness is available, most onlookers have despaired of any progress toward that longed-for General Nacho Consensus.

Nothin’ like a naked macho nacho doing the dipping diplomatically!

This guy has the physical ability to break the Mexican fence down for authentic Nachos South of San Antonio, Texas. But mentally is a full and dull boy in the shining light. You know all work out and no playing w/your food.

Mamma said so…

A spiritual awakening at the negotiation table of Salsa Samples may break the frozen Margarita ice…

…I don’t see the problem…

…that’s nacho cheese…

…it’s everyone’s cheese…

…but I need a second helping of free chips…

…but my server is so busy bring Fujitas & giant beers…

…how do I get their attention for more sauce, too…

…and my mole will be coming soon…but I drool for nachos…

..shrimp, brisket, Velveeta, onion…or like here in Froglandia…

…rabbit…

Bada Bing Bada Bang‼️

Nothing like a steam bath to make those nachos go limp‼️

Step 1. Resolve my troubles with tapas.

Step 2. ^

Step 3. Correct my pu pu platter predicament.

Step One: Use surveillance pickle footage to locate Freedonian ambassador to Froglandia in Frog Applause™ Bath Mat Factory multi-purpose employee break room, chapel and brothel.

It’s important to maintain detente with chips.

Aren’t nachos a rather egalitarian food? A chip for everyone, a little cheese, a little meats…. But along comes Big Frog to try and control the cheese ladle, and next thing you know there is a pickle on every corner, pitting lamester against lamester, and soon there will be a bunny shortage. Eventually, there will appear a naked guy on the corner, singing an Elvis Costello cover of “What’s so Funny about Peas, Lame and Subliminal Cartoonery Understanding?” I guess some things never change…

Solve nachos problem by a simple trip to the nearest taqueria! Consume Mass Quantities! Wash down with appropriate beverage (Tio’s Cocktail, maybe). Return to base, take long, slow hot shower. Hit the weight room. And so to bed.

“Problem” solved!

No double dipping.