Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for January 02, 2024

…reverse planking is a trend in Froglandia…

…sometimes followed by spanking…

… and/or wanking…

…to tik tok videos …

…of tree trimmers topping whiplashing palm trees…

They can’t play baseball, they don’t wear sweaters, they’re not good dancers,

They don’t play drums.

https://www.youtube.Com/watch?v=n9TNcI7eUXY&t=214s

It will take a lot more “negative space” statements for us to get a feel for the contours of this subject.

Does he dance, like, at all?

https://www.youtube.Com/watch?v=0QDKLglEP5Y&t=16s

Yet he wins ar musical chairs.

Hank (the Plank) had a unfortunate form of ED. Gynophobia combined with Chorophobia (Fear of Dancing) made him go completely whole-body rigid and wooden. Doors with natural wood grain exasperated the condition. His parents almost named him Keith, and that “wood” have made things even worse.

That’s a chair yoga pose I haven’t seen. Those chairs must be either really heavy or nailed to the floor. Even then, it would be pretty hard to assume that position.

So we can rule out that being Mick Jagger doing that pose, huh?!

he seems to be a well-balanced guy…

And how many people can make that claim?

And he sells more chairs by far than anyone in the oblast.

….but he does know how to play musical chairs….his way.

A little traveling music, if you please!

He might not know any Keiths but he knows a Woody when he sees one.

Once Upon a Time about 60 years ago I could actually plank like that.

He’s lying about the houndstooth.

Sounds like he is doing fairly well.

He’s a scrub.

Wow, Teresa, aside from the planking on chairs thing, that sounds a lot like me. Not sure whether to be embarrassed or elated.

He does seem immune to gravity.

he is a line drawering ;+)

Things that all look great on the CV.

" … Although she begged and pleaded, the jury didn’t care.

They didn’t have a sofa, so they offered him The Chair!"

He must be pretty bored just hanging around.

He has a pole strategically inserted in a conveniently located orifice.

He doesn’t need that stuff! He’s MAGIC!

Butt Ups.

Butt Downs.

Heather Locklear after teaching him to take her all the way. Left, Right, Band Tight on a drumm a dummy.Izee A Pop on the joker and don’t stop.

Howard. Where are you?

Admitted: I share in the first “he doesn’t….”

But, contrariwise, the latter pair are “I do”!

Now, can I just get off these d*mn chairs and get into my comfy bed?!

He thinks about pencils.

He knows how to wear a towel.

He knows three people named Kevin.