Gil Thorp by Henry Barajas and Rachel Merrill for May 06, 2020

A butter knife. Political BS run amok. No common sense. I suspect there will be a few posters who will disagree, again, no common sense – and yes, someone could inflict some damage with a butter knife if so inclined, but they could also inflict damage with other stuff – like a hard text book or some of item that could do damage.

So those other weird breakfasts were just plot development to set up this storyline?

Alright, I will be the 1st to say it…Zero tolerance IS INTOLERANCE.

P1, That looks like a plastic butterknife, too. Maybe he was gonna file it down into a shiv in shop class.

P2, Gotta get that giant hand in. It’s the law!

P3, Uh-oh, will they have to elect a new mayor?

Lock him up! Lock him up!

Oh, the shark, babe, has such teeth, dear

And it shows them pearly white

Just a butter knife has old MikeHeath, babe

And he should have kept it, ah, out of sight

And so it came to pass that, after a five day suspension, the Mayor nicknamed himself Mike the Knife.

Milford baseball never recovered from the two game losing streak caused by the loss of his bat and Gazoo’s depression over the absence of his mentor.

The end.

Up next: COVID arrives in Milford, so baseball is cancelled. Gil and Kaz play golf till football starts.

What if he kept his favorite bat in his locker, what would they do about that??

I say give him 10 push ups and make him write 50 times “I will never bring another knife, any other kind of sharp object, or weapon, or item that has the potential to be used as a weapon, for as long as I am a student of Milford High School”

Let’s get back to the baseball diamond and wait for the next totally lame story line R & W come up with.

In all reality , Gil tries to stop the Mayor from incriminating himself by holding up his giant hand signaling Mike to stop talking but Gil’s warning is ignored .

At least the other two doofus’s won’t have to pick him up every morning and deal with his stupid dietary oddities anymore. And we can be spared too!

I understand that EES isn’t the best thing to have happen when you are trying to lie.

Spare yourself the humiliation of suspension, Mike. Take the butter knife and commit hara-kiri. Yeah, with that knife it will take the next couple of months in strip-time to make the incision, but it will still be more fun to watch than whatever is going on with the baseball team.

Even a pencil

P2- Mike, The Mayor, now Michael. Pay attention son. Coach Thor P is communicating in Indian sign language. How? As in the hell am I here spreading angst with a butter knife?

“Sir, please step away from that fork.” Cache of weapons found in MHS cafeteria.

Like it is said “If Common Sense was lard some people couldn’t grease a cake pan”

Giant hand appears in P2, signaling STOP this nonsensical storyline

Any self-respecting teenager should know that the automatic response to “…is this yours?…” is “…no way! …where did that come from?…I’ve never seen that before!….”

It’s a good thing she didn’t keep looking through his bag and find the church key with a built in cork screw.

This will be hated. I’m cool with that.

There was a case some years ago in which an elementary school kid, angry at being sent to the principal’s office, stabbed and killed the principal with a… wait for it… a pencil. Now admittedly this is weird in the extreme, in every detail. Of course there will not be rules banning pencils.

Three times that I recall from the news, one with video of every sad detail, police shooters have killed minors… as in twelve and younger… thinking that the kids were about to shoot them. In one case the object in question was a phone. In another, it was a very realistic “toy” imitation of handgun. So most schools ban toy guns, even extremely unrealistic ones, even “shooting gestures” that might be misunderstood as aggression. Even if no armed guard is present who might “jump the gun.”

Yes. It sounds stupid in the extreme to say you can be disciplined for bringing a butter knife to school. I imagine there are similar knives on lunch trays in the school cafeteria. The trick is where the line is to be drawn. A blanket rule that says zero knives, including toy rubber knives, clarifies things for everyone. Of course, it is a problem we shouldn’t have to worry about, the butter knife thing. But these rules don’t come out of thin air. They exist for a reason, for the safety of all concerned.

A quick internet search reveals many, many cases of kids being disciplined in some way for bringing a butter knife to school for entirely innocent reasons… to slice that pear in her lunch box, in one case. It ALWAYS seems stupid.

But there are also accounts in and out of schools where individuals have attacked others with… you know this is coming… butter knives. Wounds were usually superficial. But there are reports of butter knives painstakingly sharpened to weapon quality, but carefully so that they still looked harmless.

Not that we expect little Katy to shiv Marcie on the playground.

Gimme a Bic pen and start a body count. Then there’s a compass with its sharp point on one end, even more effective. A butter knife? LOL! Our cafeteria has those, left and right. This is “SERIOUS??” It’s one month late for April Fools. Early in my teaching career (not in my class), a kid firmly placed a point-up pencil on a sixth grader’s chair. The kid sat down and the full-length pencil went in a good four inches into the kid’s butt cheek. I got asked for “medical” advice and couldn’t believe it. “Call the EMTs and leave the pencil alone.”

Gil tells him to wait for his lawyer before he speaks. When did an episode of Law and Order break out?

It’s long after the last class has ended, and there are still kids walking the hallway with books in their hand? Must have been out back getting stoned and have no idea what time it is.

And is Mayor McCheese walking through my hallways WITH HIS CLEATS ON? THERE IS GOING TO BE HELL TO PAY!

And speaking of paying, you don’t have to pay a thing to read today’s issue of Mopped Up Thorp: https://moppedupthorp.wordpress.com/

I think it’s Rooney’s way of getting rid of an annoying pest

I’m proud that Gil read my post from yesterday and decided to call Mike’s parents.

Breakfastman going to get in trouble for having stolen a family kitchen utensil.

I remember the protractors we were required to have in 1970. Now THAT was a weapon https://www.ebay.com/i/372878535613?chn=ps&norover=1&mkevt=1&mkrid=711-117182-37290-0&mkcid=2&itemid=372878535613&targetid=884572167531&device=c&mktype=pla&googleloc=9005107&poi=&campaignid=9423619092&mkgroupid=97011544713&rlsatarget=pla-884572167531&abcId=1141016&merchantid=6296724&gclid=CjwKCAjwwMn1BRAUEiwAZ_jnErAIKS6o7wHwT9A6uPYvKUDpnbkOahtmH-U030DOECfTQHwERySAxhoCyQIQAvD_BwE

Did the Mayor get his Milford-anda warning?

The sad thing is that there are far too many schools that would act this way and far too many adults who support that stupidity.