Herman by Jim Unger for September 17, 2020

Or have a second shot at you.

Have you ever had somebody grab your bird by the beak and use it to cudgel you about the head and shoulders unmercifully before?

A pissed blackbird can draw blood.

Eh?

And how does he apologize?

Bow gracefully and lowers his eyes? Liable to do more damage that way, since the point of the beak is further from his face than his coordination can bear.

Or does he just say sorry, and tell the poor guy, “didn’t mean to peck you on the head like that, I’ll take care of it. Please, put it on my bill.”

Bird definitely qualifies for UGLY

What a peck your head,

I’m gonna have to insist we stay 6’ apart from now on…..

Had a bird like that once. No one would get that close to him but once.

I once had to transport a wounded Greater Blue Heron (wing injury) from my company to a vet school for treatment. I had a sedan so we put it on the floor of the backset and threw a blanket over it to keep calm. All during the 30 minute drive, I was nervously looking in the mirror and waiting for it to strike out with that amazingly long beak that it has. Didn’t happen, the bird was rehabilitated and returned to the wild.

You think that’s a big bill; wait till the injured guy shows what the doctor charged.

Someone could immobilize the poor bird with an orange on the beak.

“And while we’re here, I’ll have him demonstrate some new insults I taught him!”

It was feelin’ a bit peckish.

He looks remorseful to me.

I think he’s being baited, what’s that on his head?