Herman by Jim Unger for January 13, 2023

On the one hand, I would like shoes that help me dunk a basketball. On the other hand, I don’t want to injure myself landing after the dunk.

“Do you have one with less Flubber? I don’t want to accidentally bounce into orbit.”

High altitudes give me nosebleed

From the ordinary to the ridiculous

Anyone can have boots like a rock star. Don’t forget to duck when you go through doors.

The salesman who sells those boots gets a bonus and shoe salesman of the year award.

Anyone who buys those would be willing to pay $5 for a small coffee.

It’s the 70’s all over again.

Then again, this could be incentive for me to get my pilots license.

Endorsed by Major Tom.

Clunky shoes‼️ ew

“…and they no longer have elevator operators.”

In the back room I’ve got downers, that should fit nicely…

What does a pilot’s license have to do with boots?

Do those elevator shoes come with muzak?

Do they come with an oxygen mask?

Does Disco come with those?