Herman by Jim Unger for March 30, 2023

… the baby’s name gotta be “free”

Mom says when they baptized my brother the sky went dark.

Last name “Romance?”

Lance Uppercut

“Are you allowed to reassign surnames? The name ‘Lipschitz’ never appealed to me.”

Maybe his last name is Boyle.

and while you’re at it can you change mine to Dirk Diggler.

And then be notified, “Lance … you are NOT the father!”

This reminds me of those words of wisdom, “Never try to baptize a cat.”

It’s a long story, but we did have a full immersion baptism performed in our pool. That’s how I wound up with 14,000 gallons of holy water in by backyard.

With the size of him he has to go with Lancealot.

Did they name your brother Damien?

And how bad do you want that – A LOT

Minister: You need a lawyer for that!

Good thing he didn’t say “call me an Uber”

He’s showing a lot of noncha’lance’ toward the ceremony of baptism.

Just don’t jump out a 10th story window with a noose around your neck

Sprinkle him!!

Yeah but you’re Jewish…