JumpStart by Robb Armstrong for March 17, 2014

Every time I think I retired from the candy sales drive, the thought of finally winning that new bike keeps… pulling… me… back… in!…

Aah,. family!… For love.. and support…. – …Especially during candy drive season!….

What good is family if you can’t take advantage of them?

When I was in junior high (what they called it back then), one year we had to sell at least one magazine to get an “A” in phys ed. I was a lousy salesperson, and it wound up with my parents buying the absolutely cheapest magazine on the list. It was Pathfinder, “second largest news magazine in 1950s.” After the subscription ran out, the magazine kept sending us issues, month after month, hoping that we’d renew. I had my “A” in p. e., and we didn’t renew.

I had something better several decades ago when in Jr. High not candy either. I decided fund raiser on selling trees. There was three to chose from all I remember is two as we also bought Tulip and Crab Apple tree then turned into an apple tree great apples. Others bought trees too. For Arbor Day.

I often recall the story of when my school gave us some crappy ten cent pens to sell for a dollar. Do not think I exaggerate when I say the pens were crappy.As a customer inducement to buy these crappy pens, they decided to hold a lottery for a crappy 5 inch B&W TV. I mean sheesh this was a while ago, but I’m not that old. Even back then, everybody had at least a 24 inch TV in the house, and color was starting to become commonplace.Come to think of it, I think somebody had donated the prize, probably because they bought it then didn’t like it.So there I was, trying to sell a crappy ten cent pen for a dollar, and a lottery ticket for a crappy TV as a “free bonus”.After canvassing half the neighborhood without selling a single pen, I finally hit upon a brainstorm. I began selling the lottery ticket for a dollar, that came with a free pen.OK, I sold one that way, and my poor abused Dad bought the rest of my inventory.We had a supply of crappy pens for years. Any time you needed a pen and couldn’t find a good one, you knew there was a drawer full of the crappy ones.

Looks like someone needs to watch The Boondocks episode titled “The Fundraiser” (heeheehee)

We had some parents go to court because their kids’ grade depended on sales.Won their case and should have.My children just avoided taking that class.

Ours was always chocolate and candy. And when prize collecting day came, we’d all look and go “Ooooh! Aaaaah!” at the people who sold a bunch and got all the cool prizes from the catalogue that we got to choose from, once we turned in our sales money. I slinked my way on up to get my little “rinky dink” prize. Needless to say, there were no “Ooohs and Aaahs”….. – Once in a while, I enjoyed the company of some other person who had the same result as me… operative term: “once” in a while… Lol!

So glad I am out of that. Girl guide cookies when I was a brownie. But nothing now. Now I can walk by those hoards of girl guides and brownies and quite firmly say “No Thank you” . Sometimes there’s the shocked look or the trembling lower lip……. I just say “no thank you – the cookie contain the wrong sugar”. .Stops them every time.