Kliban by B. Kliban for March 25, 2019

I’ll take the 32" wingspread regular—no cuffs!

From the Samuel Taylor Coleridge collection.

Surprised he didn’t order from Amazon Prime of the ancient Mariner.

Casual Friday Store

How much does that bird weigh?

Goose Down pick ups here!

Which one is the salesperson?

Overhead the albatross

Hangs motionless upon the air

And deep beneath the rolling waves

In labyrinths of coral caves

The echo of a distant time

Comes willowing across the sand

And everything is green and submarine

I have to buy a suit for an upcoming wedding too.

In Coleridge’s “The Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner” The Ancient Mariner killed an albatross, a bird of sailor’s luck. So the crew made him wear the bird around his neck as punishment and to appease the gods. Didn’t get to choose, though.

" Are you sure this albatross doesn’t make me look fat ? "

Jonathan Livingston Seagull never found much success with his line of bird ties.

A full service albatross store?

Because they all became self-service, kids nowadays don’t realize that was once a thing.

Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner’s albatross necktie.

Course you don’t get bloody wafers with it.