Last Kiss by John Lustig for April 12, 2024

And for the husbands the honeymoons have always been to die for.

“Second Honeymoons are all right. But it’s taken me the Fourth or Fifth to perfect my Modus Operandi.”

Let’s see if you can measure up to my last 15.

“Hi! What’s your name? Mine’s Jane. My close friends call me Calamity Jane. Although when they’re being honest, they call me Chlamydia Jane.” (A long time ago, I had an acquaintence we called Calamity Jane, because she was very promiscuous. How promiscuous? Instead of asking to shake your hand, she’d say “I’m Jane; may I shake your gland?”)

Not her first rodeo…

I just don’t understand why the brides get upset with their husbands and me.

he’s dealing with a pro…

She needed to marry Jackie Gleason. Then, she could’ve had many episodes of honeymooning!

New look for Liz Taylor.

And don’t even get me started on divorces!

BLONDIE: “You’d think guys would drown not having a pair of built-in flotation devices.”

RED: “You’d think gals would swim in circles not having a built-in rudder.”

She: Let me think Ithink this number 4….?

From the “Land of Sky Blue Waters, comes the taste refreshing.” Time and time again!

“Every night is a Honeymoon with a different guy.”

Uh-oh!

“And my data set is growing every week.”

I know the feeling. I’ve only been married twice but had more than my share of “honeymoons”. :)

I don’t know, John; I’ll clean that off the bathroom stall wall…

Oh yeah? Well gets a room Goldilocks. And gets your own room. Stay outta me bear cave ya steenky crook.