Looks Good on Paper by Dan Collins for September 22, 2019

Get out the hot water and pluck away, the freshest fowl.

Pteroducken.

You are what you eat.

I think it was Gail Collins who wrote this. She went to the store and had ‘salad dressing’ on her list. Found an entire aisle of salad dressing, literally hundreds of different choices. After 20 minutes of searching she realized that it would take her about five minutes to make an elaborate salad dressing at home.

What, no Ottoman?

How can you mention Turkey and not include Hungary and Greece? These are the triumvirate of food jokes.

hmm they don’t have the turkey type I buy in stock. “Utility”

Almost as bad as the Oreo aisle at Kroger.

I quit buying some of my formerly favorite prepared foods when turkey became one of the major ingredients. They’re just not the same. I don’t want to even see turkey in the ingredients list. Probably a good thing, healthwise, to eat less prepared foods. And where it is proven that all this turkey, which now probably has as much or more hormones, chemicals, additives, contaminants, etc. per pound, is healthier?

I’d call fowl, but someone would probably say I’m chicken. (I’d better duck before someone gooses me.)

Tofurkey = Faux Turkey

I went to an upscale grocery store near where I live. They sold “gluten-free” meat and fruit. I kid you not.