Luann by Greg Evans and Karen Evans for May 01, 2017

what a complicated life for Bernice, yet what a simple life for Luann

Bernice, Piro and the kiss. Mystery still pending. Something’s got to shake out to clarify that.

I like the massive word balloon in panel three.

Nice to see Bernice surpass Luann for drama.

Bernice is sounding like when the women in Zits fill up the panel with overlapping words.

The mind on rewind…

I think that the point of all the extended verbalization from Bernice is not necessarily that Bernice is having more drama in her life than Luann (because she always had her share of drama; she just never acknowledged it). The point is that, of all the data she is dumping, the very LAST point she made is that Piro kissed her. Does that mean it is the least important point to her, or what? Any guesses?

And now a game of mad-libs, Bernice style. We will fill in her ellipses. I wanted to go out with Piro, but I didn’t have Piro’s phone number so I hacked Tiff’s phone and by hacked I mean I didn’t actually get Piro’s number because she came back into her room too fast. So I decided to study for my big test, which as it turned out I failed. It wasn’t my fault because of all the stuff that happened but I am about to forget the best part because then, Piro was at the library! He looked so hot wearing his scarf and by “hot” I mean kind of sweaty because he wears a scarf all the time. He asked about notes for a class I took last semester and I said, “The notes are in my room and we could go there to get them.” He was hungry, so I got him a giant pile of snacks and he ate all of my Matzos. Who would have guessed anyone liked Matzos that much? Well I got to my notes from Lesson 17 and I realized it was past curfew!! Piro left my room and the next thing I know Tiffany is in my room talking about Piro and how he told the security guy he busted into a vending machine?! Piro confessed, so I confessed because we were in my room breaking curfew and eating Matzos. The security guy didn’t care I had broken curfew so I had to turn myself into the Director. She didn’t seem to care I broke curfew either. All she wanted to talk about was since they found the vending machine thief so they found the TV thief! Oh, and Piro kissed me but I felt nothing inside about it. Even little Bernice didn’t get excited. Then I had this dream last night about how Piro was strangling me with his scarf and I was getting really excited and kind of scared too and then I started kissing him a lot and his mouth tasted a lot like scarf which is better than the real Piro mouth tasted and I woke up and found I still had his scarf around my neck and a little bit down my throat too.

Okay so sum everything up, Luann and Bernice are Semi-Deeply Involved with Two Guys They’re Absolutely NOT Sure About.So Business as Usual. Now that We’ve cleared THAT Up, Who is watching Mr. Knox??

I guess this is Greg’s way of wrapping up the mystery, and now we may continue on as to why Bernice didn’t tingle when Piro kissed her. Maybe, deep down, she has the hots for Gunther, or simply isn’t ready for romance, or she may even question her sexuality. She’s at that age of great confusion.

Luann – Not the Neanderthal! At least find a Cro-Magnon to date…

Well, that was as clear as mud.

Ken, lets face it, European ancestors have Neanderthal in their genetic history, and that might be a good thing (l0l). As far as Bernice and Luann are going, it reminds me of what a deceased friend used to say about complicated situations that are actually simple, “that is about the size of it”. More developments to follow.

This is the first time in what seems like a month we’ve seen the title character in the weekly strip. Welcome back to your own strip, Luann.

“Oh, and Piro kissed me. Later, we’re going dumpster diving.”

It must have taken Bernice a long time to tell that convoluted story. She looks to be under 20 in panel 2, and about 50 in panel 3. Luann has been in stasis.

She really needs to get a grip on her emotions now. Calm down and tell a coherent complete story.

OK, so who is the real thief?

Wow, She’s a regular Vin Scully.

I can imagine that Bernice sounds like a 33 RPM record being played at 78 RPM!

And Luann’s thinking, “Wait a minute, I thought this was MY strip, how come everyone else is getting more interesting stuff to do?”

If this were a TV show, and they said: “Last time, on Luann:”, it would probably take up 95% of the show’s content, and less time for the new episode. That is, if Bernice were writing it… Though it would’ve been perfect, if it were the movies “Titanic”, or “The Winds Of War”, or “The Blue And The Grey” or “Roots” being adapted for TV…

“99 Word Balloons” (♬)

“Unabridged Over Troubled Water” (♬)

“Miss American Pi, R Squared” (♩)

“Getcha Motor Runnin’… " (♪)

“99 Lead Balloons” (♬)

“2 Legit To Fit” (♬)

“You Got Me Going In Circles… " (♪)

“Product 19,000”

“Encyclopedia Ber-tannica”

“In A De-tail Spin”

“A Conversation With Rub-y Goldberg”

“After Dinner, Comes Dissertation”

“A Chronically Chronicled Chronicle”

“The Stuff Of Ledger-dary Accountings”

“She’ll Ep-ic You Apart”

“(Bernice’s Love) Life Is A Long Song” (♬)

…oh…

“And Then, He Kissed Her” (♩)

And in the 4th panel Luann’s head explodes.

And in the newspaper biz, what bernice did in that’s last panel would be called “burying the lede.” BUt as others pointed out, she’s detail-oriented and i guess she just HAD to tell it chronologically.

The two BFFs seem to have swapped lives lately! :o)

With TJ and Ox guest starring as “The Shadow People” .

I’m one of the few who think Jack is the real deal and Luann should go out with him more. It’s not as if they are likely to become engaged in the near future. But at least to me he seems like a decent guy. I love the 2nd frame, followed by the blow-out summary in the last. Got all that Lu?

That’s not news, it’s just gossip…

If Bern were a cereal, I think there’d be “Monosodium-oxy-hydrogenated-rhibonucleic Peptides, Poly-Polysorbate 180, Carragena-cardigan, Emulsifiers, Mono and Poly-Dextrides, FD&C Brown #80 (for hair coloring?)…etc….oh yeah, and some salt and sugar.”.

Oh the comments today first Luann back then Prio did not get ????

Oh the comments today first Luann back then Prio did not get ????

5

Hopefully, Bernice will be able to work through all this drama with Luann’s help. I hope that Luann ends up helping Bernice see that her lack of “sparks” with one brief kiss does not mean Bernice should give up on Piro.

I also hope that Luann will go and hang out further with Jack. Just have fun. See where it goes as a potential relationship…. or not. But just try it out. That would be the same advice I would give for Bernice, too.

Note: “and Piro kissed me”, not “and we kissed”. Piro was the kisser. Bern was just an observer, not an active participant.

These two are acting like they’re on drugs – different drugs. Lu is near-catatonic while Bern is sounding manic.

Bernice is speaking in ‘sound bytes’, like headlines in a newspaper. And people have gushed like this for years, when they’re catching up.

Bernice mastered the first half of this song:

The first time ever I saw your face I thought the sun rose in your eyes And the moon and the stars were the gifts you gave To the dark and the endless skiesThe first time ever I kissed your mouth I felt the earth move in my hand Like the trembling heart of a captive bird That was there at my command my love

Bernice need to cut back on the Caf-Pow.

Interesting aside….. the Spanish version of Luann (Luann en Espanol) apparently by accident left out of the bottom sound bubble, Bernice stating that Piro kissed her.

The interesting ambiguities of difference between the two comics, including these occasional errors, the coloring differences, and of course nuances in difference between the two languages…. it would be interesting to see if there are enough of these differences that Luann is perceived differently by the Spanish-speaking audiences.

Bernice wants to ask Luann how she felt the first time Quill kissed her, which of course was under different circumstances.

Sounds like Bern isn’t gay but asexual. That’s the latest letter added to LGBTQIA. (Google it – it’s a thing.) That would be really cutting-edge of the Evanses to use the latest addition to gender identity.

Yeah, that’s a bit of news, by college student conversation standards…. Jeepers, Bee!

How can that Cafe’ make enough to stay open with these young women only ordering soft drinks?! Order some food please!!!

As for the thief: I still think it’s Dez! But Bernice hasn’t figured it out yet. How else could Dez have gotten the scarf! And we know the thief is a she!

So who was the TV thief?

I am surprised. or at least I did not see it while scrolling through the comments, that no one mentioned what appears to be TJ’s shadow in the background. Some would say the other figure might be Mr. Gray, but if it is a dude, he seems to have a hat. Maybe it’s a woman, because the hat which fits the figures head does not appear to have a wide brim. Much apropos about nothing, but for those who doubted the Cafe would make it,I remind that this is Luannverse, and these characters have to have things to be doing in it. Maybe GE will let us drop back in the lives of some of the other characters such as Knute and Crystal, Delta or Rose, or even Tiffany and Gunther, although I prefer Rose and Gunther. I would like Delta to meet Pru, and indulge in the creation of a hunch I have about the future lawyer and senator and her personal preferences. HMMMM!! That is just me though, so pay no mind (lol).

Spoiler Alert:

.

Kissed you………………………………….Unexpected

.

Swooning……………………………………Totally Flat

.

Unexpected…………………………..Pondering for hours

.

Re – running……………………………………Reading

.

Psych……………………………………Emotional Suppression

.

Love tests……………………………….Passion diagnostics

.

Find out………………………………………Stop thinking

.

…………………Thoughts or dreams?……………………

So who was the TV thief? I’m sorry, but I’m detail-oriented; I have to know!