Luann by Greg Evans and Karen Evans for February 09, 2020

man, the girls here are trying their best to come up with a romantic metaphor (and doesn’t the coloring of the panels look a little pale?)

Puddles has a Valentines card for Luann:

Roses are gray

Violets are gray…

My husband is very good about putting down the toilet seat. On the few occasions when he forgets, I’m in the water! Makes life interesting and exciting.

Puddles is great, and look at panel 3. His eyes get the gist of what where Luann is headed.

Look: I’m a huge nerd. And I love nerdy girls. Geeks are incredibly hot, as nothing beats a girl who is passionate about something. But Greg… Bernice suuucks. She’s more unbearable than Ann Eiffel, who you think is a villain on par with Darth Vader or Voldemort (spoiler alert: she’s not). Please, please let Bernice follow Piro and Aaron Hill out of this strip. All she does is drag Luann down. Is she supposed to be the real villain of this strip? Because she does a better job of inhibiting Luann’s emotional growth than any of the actual villains.

Bernice, you could try for Shoebox greetings.

Real love is not only putting down the toilet seat, but installing a heated toilet seat for the winter time.

Actually, given the humorous Hallmark cards I have seen, these are pretty close.

I live alone but I have to put down the seat and the lid. If I don’t my cats will send their catnip mice to “sleep with the fishes”. It’s bad enough I step on a soggy, fuzzy cat toy in the shower if I don’t remember to look first. I don’t need a clogged toilet.

Actually I like some of these phrases much more than the classic love phrases. They are weird, funny, exaggeratedly scientific or with hints of ambiguous sensations. Puddles is hilarious. He makes some expressions like he’s unable to believe what kind of absurdity those two humans are saying.

“Roses are Red.”

“Violets are Blue.”

“Gunth has GOT Somebody!”

“But NOT, You two!”

[DUCKS]. :)

Luann is unlucky in love.

Well, at least they have each other…. I guess…. Maybe. Right Puddles?

I don’t know of any guys who fall into toilets.

This strip is titled, “Is you can’t get ’em. Write ’em.”

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hey, Halmark, aren’t you happy they don’t work for you?

I think they’re on to something with “teeter to my totter”. “You’re my balance beam floor spotter. Texas John Slaughter, made ’em do what they ’aughter…” nope, that’s something else…

Oh, just send your special one a video of Cole Porter’s “You’re the Tops.”

The fair and equitable agreement between partners is for BOTH to put the seat AND the lid down after each use.

There is a job for everyone, but not the same job.

Sometimes it helps to know what is not yours.

Oh,Yeah? you want equality but won’t leave the seat UP?

I think it’s the hilarious side today with the two BFF’s, fort those who think Luann is a dumb, vapid, loser, and Bernice is a snarky, plain shrew. Neither of those characterizations are anywhere near true by the way, but I do think that the way they express hidden desire, Luann with the hot sudsy showers, and Bernice with the left ventricle is very revealing as to how they look at the Luannverse. Luann is warm and romantic (and horny in a Greg Evans kind of way), Bernice is more linear, and straightforward (and horny in a Greg Evans kind of way).

OK, panel 3, what is the finish?

They’re applying for jobs at Hallmark now? Because they’d never dare send Valentines to boys they like, that would be too dramatic.

There’s a good chance Greg knows present and past card cartoonists for Hallmark and American Greetings based in Kansas City and Cleveland respectively. With this year’s Reuben Awards being hosted by Andrews McMeel Universal syndicate in KC, there might be some Hallmark folks in attendance.

I liked this old Beetle Bailey strip: Ms Buxley, in a room full of men:

Ms Buxley: “ You men are so rude! You never leave the toilet seat down”

One of the men: “ Why do you always leave it down, instead of putting it up?”

Am I the only one who’s noticed the little pink heart in the middle of the strip? Or just the first to mention it?

Roses are red, violets are blue, Put down the seat when you are through.

Geez, Bernice and Luann. Get out of the house and go do something already…

She can’t talk about what happens in that Hot Bath.

What Happens in Hot Bath, goes down the drain with the cold water.

Hmmm.. I want to hear some more about that sudsy bath.

I can’t believe two things:

I just read this whole list of comments.

Men can find women to marry who would fall into the toilet more than once.

Bern had best be careful not to tell a medical person that her right ventricle flutters – they would probably grab a defibrillator to stop it!

Pre-Valentine’s Day sentimental snippets for the greeting card industry. Luann and Bernie add up to zero….

Her Valentine sudsy bath with hot water running? So warm and wet, then.

LYRICS OF AN OLD DICK POWELL SONGLife is a bag of withered prunes,so sour and dryThen Presto,Change-O,you’re in loveAnd life is a cherry pie!