Moderately Confused by Jeff Stahler for December 23, 2024

I still have a chimney, but it’s blocked and doesn’t connect to anything.

And some don’t have one at all.

I asked my wife about this and she assured me Santa doesn’t really come down chimneys.

She actually leaves our door unlocked on Christmas eve!

The sleigh flies lower and slower too!

There’s a movie on Netflix, The Christmas Chronicles, where Santa is played by Kirk Russell. He makes several comments about people always depicting him as fat. There’s a scene where he’s in jail and he sings “Santa Claus is Back in Town” and it’s fantastic. Good movie.

efficiency furnaces nowadays

Chimney’s are becoming nonexistent too.

You can just knock on my front door, Santa.

Chimney’s like Santas will soon disappear.

Moderately proactive.

Back in the 1980’s, I was flying C-130s out of Japan. The squadron was putting on a Christmas show for the kids. It started with a mock mission briefing. One of the slides depicted the Korean Air Traffic Control system (which at the time was an oxymoron).

I had the artist fill the airspace with every aircraft imaginable including the Wright Flyer, the Hindenburg, a hot air balloon, the Starship Enterprise, an Imperial Star Cruiser, the Millennium Falcon, some X-wing and Tie fighters and Santa and his sled.

We tracked Santa to the base and then the kids went outside to see him arrive, waving to them from the top hatch of a C-130. Our kids grew up thinking that Santa drove a Herk. It could hold a lot more toys than a sled.

Can’t Santa use drones ?

Plus, it’s flue season

Just another example of Shrink-flation. Chimneys get smaller and Santa shrinks.