Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for June 21, 2015
Transcript:
Danae: Oh, please...spare me the weirdo theories, Jeffrey... Jeffrey: But you've gotta admit, it would explain a lot. Let's run it past Lars to see what he thinks about it. Danae: *sigh* Whatever. Hey, Lars...? Lars: Wassup, Danae? Danae: Oh...Jeffrey has this theory... Jeffrey: Well, it's not my theory... Danae: Whatever...anyway, it says humans didn't evolve, that we could be the result of DNA engineering by advanced aliens. Jeffrey: Adam and Eve might be the story of the first prototypes. Lars: Um...heh-heh...that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard...and you should never repeat it. Danae: See?! Jeffrey: Ok, let's consider the source here...
Gigantor over 9 years ago
Those must have been some really incompetent alien scientists, because they did a really half-baked job.
Varnes over 9 years ago
What is that squiggley thing under Lar’s fart powered saucer….Did Danae’s questioning scare the what ever that is out of him?
Bilan over 9 years ago
Maybe we’re the Beta test.
mr_sherman Premium Member over 9 years ago
“…And you should never repeat it.” Um, yeah.
stlmaddog5 over 9 years ago
People still aren’t ready to accept the truth. Fact is, the human race is NOT native to this planet. Like the Asian Carp in the Mississippi River, we are an invasive species introduced to this planet by the authorities of our home planet. The planet Earth was used as a penal colony, much the same as Austria was used by Great Britain between 1780-1868*. The penal colony on Earth, however, was used exclusively to isolate the criminally insane from the home planet. We, who call ourselves the human race, are the descendants of those prisoners stranded here. This is why the human race has violent tendencies. This explains why mankind can not be expected to collectively do the right thing when it comes to subjects like global warming. This is why we allow ourselves to be governed by “politicians”. We, as a race, are collectively insane. The authorities of our home world occasionally check up on us to make sure that we are not a threat to escape our confinement to this planet. That is why there are UFO’s. Should they ever decide that we are capable of leaving this planet and infesting the galaxy outside our solar system, they will take action to eliminate that possibility. That is why we must dismantle the space program and discontinue NASA.. Otherwise we will doom ourselves to a fate far worse than global warming. See, I told you that you weren’t ready to accept the truth!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Penal_colonyron47 over 9 years ago
And they forgot to leave an instruction manual.
Oxnate over 9 years ago
And just like the scientists at Jurassic Park, they had the Vitamin C contingency plan. These new ‘Humans’ can’t manufacture Vitamin C like most animals can.
phylum over 9 years ago
if they were smart enough to create the human race….you would think they would have thought about morning breath!!
wdgnas over 9 years ago
if advanced alien are so advanced, why do they keep crashing on this planet?
Greyhame over 9 years ago
And telephone sanitizers
The Old Wolf over 9 years ago
There breeds a man…
magicwalnut over 9 years ago
Well, all I can say is they did a pretty lousy job…..
Kirk Barnes Premium Member over 9 years ago
Prototypes are experimental in nature, a test to see if a theory achieves a positive result.The question to be asked is whether or not the experiment had a successful outcome.
dabugger over 9 years ago
Well first, is Lars a dane on their imagination? And why shouldn’t the theory be repeated? What have Jeffrey and Danae been doing with such a far out friend? Scary.
sarah413 Premium Member over 9 years ago
“That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.” Now repeat that using your best Groucho Marx impersonation.
Wiley creator over 9 years ago
Well, as long as you’re going to get all pedantic over a silly cartoon…
theory
noun ( pl. -ries)a supposition or a system of ideas intended to explain something, esp. one based on general principles independent of the thing to be explained
goweeder over 9 years ago
We’re an experiment? .Back to the drawing board!
jahoody over 9 years ago
I’d say Danae and Jeffrey are the prototypes for the next millennium. Works for me.
NWdryad over 9 years ago
If true, then the aliens certainly did a lazy job of it.
nosirrom over 9 years ago
You’re all wrong! Here’s the truth:Since God is a man he’s not really perfect.While creating the universe He convened a counsel of His angels to decide what to do with all of His mistakes.It was Satan who suggested dumping them all on the Earth because it would make it easier for him to rule over the sinners.After all haven’t you heard of “Hell on Earth”.BTW if God was a woman she wouldn’t have made any mistakes and we wouldn’t be here.
Sailor46 USN 65-95 over 9 years ago
There’s a good chance the Human Race is a Failed Not so Advanced Alien DNA Engineering Experiment.
chain gang charlie over 9 years ago
When Danae grew up she became my wife..A beautiful. voluptuous brunette AND IMPOSIBBLE to live with, we have only been together 43 years …so far!
1953Baby over 9 years ago
Actually, this “story” was done by James P, Hogan in the novel “The Gentle Giants of Ganymede” (c. 1978). Earth began as a cosmic garbage dump. I leave it to those sharp minds posting here to determine what that makes the human race. . .
arelef Premium Member over 9 years ago
skyhook
Timothy Madigan Premium Member over 9 years ago
If it’s scientific, it’s at best a conjecture.
But since it’s really just philosophical at this point, the term theory still fits.
Rarely over 9 years ago
Careful guys. Wiley’s playing with you. He’s making a list of all the total nuts reading his comic in support of an argument to restrict voting to people with double-digit IQs.Amazing how many gulli-bulls there are out there. I am curious how many readers believe Eddy’s stories. It’s probably the same percentage that believe Elvis is still alive and producing the “Ancient Aliens” cartoon.
Wiley creator over 9 years ago
Yes, I do know the difference and debated on whether to use the correct term of “hypothesis” or not, deciding on the common (mis)use of “theory” because this is cominc strip dialogue. Danae simply wouldn’t say “hypothesis”, so it wouldn’t ring true in the dialogue. This is not a treatise, it’s a comic strip. You just have to go with it sometimes.
Tarredandfeathered over 9 years ago
What we need now is the Non Sequitur version of the lyrics to This Song:.Son of a Scoundrel by Kris Kristofferson. Big Barney Fish he got suddenly rich,Got a big fancy house in Melbourne.With buckets of loot and big black leather boots,Acting so haughty and well born.But we of Australia, we’re children of convictsAnd some of us wear it quite proudly;So as he rides by in his carriage so fine,I wave and I call to him loudly:.Chorus:.Was your Grandma a whore?Was your Grandpa a thief?Were they forgers and graftersWho fell to their grief?If you’re born of Australia,I know who you be;You’re the son of a son of aScoundrel like me..Maggie McKay’s got a sweet loving wayAnd I know that she does adore me,But her parents, they feel it would be a bad deal;They say that she’s much too good for me.So as we said good-bye with a tear in our eye,They were smiling and glad of the breaking;But they didn’t look so proudWhen I shouted out loud,‘Til the whole floggin’ town was awaken:.Chorus:.Madame Marie loves the men from the sea;She says that they’re good for business.Her daughters are found in a section of townKnown for a certain rudeness.Then the cops pay a callAnd the judge says, “That’s all.It’s time for a new profession.”Marie laughed out loud and in front of the crowdSays, “Judge, will you answer this question?”.Chorus:.
Tarredandfeathered over 9 years ago
Is Lars a Vorlon?
Rarely over 9 years ago
Michael Palin’s Theory (or was it a hypothesis?): “The brontosaurus is very thin at one end, very thick in the middle and very thin at the other end”. Only someone who is truly anal retentive would be bothered by this. Get a life.
sandy306 over 9 years ago
Fun,but not to be overly analyzed!
Aaronious over 9 years ago
Hypothesis, not a theory. He hasn’t tested it yet to be a theory.