Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for October 16, 2019

Lost and left that arguments decades ago.

This is why the “man-cave” was invented.

I have to remind myself not to touch anything in the house I pay the mortgage on.

No one cared for my opinions. They were always wrong anyway.

I think Ed’s in with a chance here. If anything will leave her speechless it would have to be the moose head lampshade.

Adam lost this argument to Eve and so will you. History dictates it.

Couple of old jokes seem appropriate…kid asks his dad if there are rules for getting along with women. Yes, there are. Rule number one, whatever she says, you so it, you never discuss,,you NEVER argue. Wow. And rule number two? There are no other rules…How to get the last word with your wife? “Yes, Dear.”

I think we should all wish Ed all the very best …

Hi…my name is Ed….and I resemble this comic. I have a trophy buck on the wall, but a Moose lamp ain’t gonna happen.

I have never lost an argument with my wife about home decoration.

I’m smart enough to recognize my short comings.

I can’t look!

Have the guy remember Henny Youngman: “I married Miss Right. Then I realized her first name was ‘Always’.”

Been there. Hell I’m still there.

Women are born with the innate knowledge that men are always wrong. Saves time.

Alas poor Bullwinkle, I knew him well.

Now that SHE-Sheds are trending, look out….

I let my wife make all of those decisions.

Trouble in most houses is that the man has the chair and the woman has the whip.

“If a man is talking while walking through the woods, and no one is around to hear him… is he STILL wrong?”

Wow… and I thought a leg lamp was pushing the envelope

As my wife continues to remind me … life goes smoothly, so long as you agree with what she says.

Remember the “Major Award” net-stockinged leg lamp from A Christmas Story? That’s why nobody ever let Darren McGavin do home decoration.

Another stereotype shattered. . .DO some/many/most guys carry about interior decoration? I thought that toilet paper (over/under) and toothpaste tubes (middle squeeze/not middle squeeze) were it. . .is this change being noted on the evolutionary charts?!? ;)

Ed, you better off against lions and tigers………….

Fan mail,from some Flounder ;)

A favorite bumper sticker When God made man first, SHE was only kidding

My whole house is a “man cave” but I don’t care about decorative stuff. So, no paintings or vases, but no moose heads or beer signs either.

Men tend to be functionalists (it’s a lamp, we need some light!).

Women tend to be estheticians (everything must be perfect, just in case the Queen drops by).

My place: frumpy-looking but awesomely comfortable furniture; several bookshelves packed two deep; 67 inch television; swords (real, not stainless steel wallhangers) hanging on the walls. Not a flower in sight.

Spot the life-long bachelor.

I have a Clown Clock…Most people are afraid of it!

In order to have a happy life, a married man must master the art of discussing such issues with his spouse. After many years of practice, I have amassed the full list of vocabulary words that are important in this endeavor. Herewith, for your delectation:

1: “Yes” (you may also use “of course” or very occasionally “Mmhm”)

2: “Dear” (any other pet name that she likes will also work)

That’s the full list.

Uncle Bullwinkle was always welcome at family get togethers.

Don’t fight too hard, Ed – the Judge will give her the whole house !

Nearly relevant Key and Peele sketch.

https://youtu.be/5LGEiIL1__s

Cool…a clown act.