This is what God did before high school football. Now he gets to watch coaches and players pray on the field. It’s exactly what He wants from American Christians-praying in public and condemning sinners. Just what the Pharisees and Sadducees did 2100 years ago. I say Jesus, you say Christ. Jesus. Christ. Jesus. Christ
Religious movies already exist to explain some of the animals in this cartoon. The dinosaurs might be where the “velocipastor” came from. And “Noah’s Shark” could be linked to the presence of Jaws in that image. (And not a knock against Wiley, since many cartoonists do this. But what’s with all of the cartoons showing a hole in the roof that’s only large enough for the giraffes’ neck, but not their head? Forced to stand for over a month, on a boat that must have been violently rocking for over a month, only to be forced to keep standing for another 10-12 months.) Perhaps the dinosaurs and elephants and the larger animals could have slept on the roof, like Snoopy.
Jurassic Park, Jaws, Titanic, and Noah all wrapped up into one movie. How many times do they get trapped below deck before the ark sinks? – At least 3 times.
Okay, there is a movie I could get behind. Let’s take all of history, mash it together and make it come out wrong. ..or at least different. You know, like elections.~_~
So in this movie, the great flood happened before the big meteor crashed into the pacific, not wiping out the dinosaurs, which are still among us today. No mosquito DNA trapped in amber was needed to recreate them.
So the man-dinosaur, showing off on the roof, slipped and provided dinner for the shark, and that’s what happened to the dinosaurs. The shark was hanging around because he’d already snacked on unicorns.
To escape this Poseidon Adventure, Noah & company took off in the Hindenburg. They headed for the Airport, only to find a Towering Inferno as a result of an Earthquake.
“WHAT A 10,000 YEAR OLD HISTORY OF THE WORLD WOULD BE LIKE”
Creationism means humans and Mesozoic dinosaurs co-existed. Humans and Permian dimetrodons co-existed, too. Paleozoic trilobites crawled in the shallow water while humans walked the shore, although no fossil record of them exists after the great Permian extinction. The sea giants megalodon, the giant shark, swam in the oceans with reptilian plesiosaurs, mosasaurs, pliosaurs and the giant armoured fishes of the Devonian, the placoderms.
Woolly mammoths preserved in the Siberian frozen muck during an Ice Age that must not have happened, walked the Earth while pterosaurs (extinct 65 million years ago) sailed in the skies above them and Tyrannosaurs hunted on the plains. Humans walked under lepidodendrons, the giant Carboniferous fern-trees we thought extinct along with the trilobites, 250 million years ago. Silurian Eurypterids, the giant sea scorpions, hunted in the shallows. Human-ancestor primates like Australopithecus and other species of humans like Neanderthals, must have also shared the Earth with modern humans, if creationism is true.
Creationism means no fossils millions of years old. All that life preserved in rock lived no more than 10,000 years ago (and in some schools of creationism, 6,000 years ago). It must have been a frighteningly dangerous time, with all those giant predators on land, in the sea and air. And all of these creatures disappeared from the planet before 3,600 BCE, when the world’s oldest writing system was devised. Why? Because there is no written record of any of these plants, fish, arthropods, dinosaurs and giant mammals. If it were true some would still be about now and all the fossils would be inextricably mixed in the fossil record instead of in their proper layers found all over the world.
There seems to be some confusion here – Moses (if he ever existed) was said to have the tablets with the laws written on them; Noah (if he ever existed) was the one who saved his family and the fauna of the Earth during the Great Flood (see Utnapishtim, in The Epic of Gilgamesh).
eastern.woods.metal about 2 years ago
There’s the proof that man and dinosaurs walked the Earth at the same time. Wiley wouldn’t lie to us.
FaustoCoppi about 2 years ago
But where are the Wiley Bears???
sirbadger about 2 years ago
Dinosaurs and giraffes are about to play a game of whack-a-mole.
willispate about 2 years ago
God: summons Lightning Bolts to strike the Dinosaurs, the Shark, and Noah Now Get Back To Work!
strictures about 2 years ago
Exactly how did Noah get the 10 commandments a couple of thousand years earlier than Moses?
lalapalooza Premium Member about 2 years ago
those cartoonists, science is all a big joke to them!
Enter.Name.Here about 2 years ago
They left out the TIE fighters zooming down out of the clouds
AnnChovie about 2 years ago
Were that ark real, what might you suppose it smelled like after the first week? I’d be overboard with that shark.
GiantShetlandPony about 2 years ago
The giraffes seem a bit alarmed.
Kind of reminds me of the Scary Movie series that are made up of several different movies from the previous year.
Asharah about 2 years ago
Cecile B. DeMille is turning over in his grave
Isenthor1978 about 2 years ago
This is what God did before high school football. Now he gets to watch coaches and players pray on the field. It’s exactly what He wants from American Christians-praying in public and condemning sinners. Just what the Pharisees and Sadducees did 2100 years ago. I say Jesus, you say Christ. Jesus. Christ. Jesus. Christ
sandpiper about 2 years ago
If he is kotw, then some poor Schlemiel has to change the papers in the animal stalls.
OldsVistaCruiser about 2 years ago
How did Noah assemble his boat?
Ark welding!
tonyturney about 2 years ago
How many of each type of animal did Moses carry on the ark, anyway?
JohnCL about 2 years ago
Only one shark?
MS72 about 2 years ago
Is that Tom Cruise playing the part of Charleton Heston?
HidariMak about 2 years ago
Religious movies already exist to explain some of the animals in this cartoon. The dinosaurs might be where the “velocipastor” came from. And “Noah’s Shark” could be linked to the presence of Jaws in that image. (And not a knock against Wiley, since many cartoonists do this. But what’s with all of the cartoons showing a hole in the roof that’s only large enough for the giraffes’ neck, but not their head? Forced to stand for over a month, on a boat that must have been violently rocking for over a month, only to be forced to keep standing for another 10-12 months.) Perhaps the dinosaurs and elephants and the larger animals could have slept on the roof, like Snoopy.
Anon4242 about 2 years ago
Jurassic Park, Jaws, Titanic, and Noah all wrapped up into one movie. How many times do they get trapped below deck before the ark sinks? – At least 3 times.
dflak about 2 years ago
So what happens when the Arc comes to the Red Sea where Moses has it parted? Who gets the right of way?
bbenoit about 2 years ago
Is that Noah holding the ten commandments, or SCOTUS holding the 2nd amendment?
Chalres about 2 years ago
♫ But sure as you’re born / You’re never gonna see no unicorn ♫
Gen.Flashman about 2 years ago
Many Bibical scholars believe the earth was created 5,000 years ago and the flood was 1,500 later.
vaughnrl2003 Premium Member about 2 years ago
Okay, there is a movie I could get behind. Let’s take all of history, mash it together and make it come out wrong. ..or at least different. You know, like elections.~_~
mindjob about 2 years ago
So in this movie, the great flood happened before the big meteor crashed into the pacific, not wiping out the dinosaurs, which are still among us today. No mosquito DNA trapped in amber was needed to recreate them.
phritzg Premium Member about 2 years ago
I still want to know how both the freshwater and the saltwater fish survived if the entire world was flooded.
Say What? Premium Member about 2 years ago
What, no comic book superheroes? What kind of summer movie is that?
thelordthygod666 about 2 years ago
Evangelicals believe “The Flintstones” is a documentary series.
Masterskrain about 2 years ago
Well, since it’s ALL Fiction, why not???
Mel-T-Pass Premium Member about 2 years ago
You forgot the invading aliens.
ms-ss about 2 years ago
I sure wish Noah had left the rattlesnakes behind instead of the unicorns.
PoodleGroomer about 2 years ago
I remember circus electric train sets with giraffes that would lower their heads before entering the tunnel.
marklylepayne about 2 years ago
Where’s Fred Flintstone ? According to these moronic evangelicals he was riding those dinosaurs.
crzy4az about 2 years ago
Gee, that looks a lot like Dr. Fauci on the bow!
mistercatworks about 2 years ago
“Floodnato 2: Jurassic Commandmants!”
txmystic about 2 years ago
He forgot to add the Avengers assembling…
mpolo11 Premium Member about 2 years ago
Needs a supersonic fly-by.
oakie817 about 2 years ago
i can’t even count how many ways this is so wrong
dbradway1 about 2 years ago
So the man-dinosaur, showing off on the roof, slipped and provided dinner for the shark, and that’s what happened to the dinosaurs. The shark was hanging around because he’d already snacked on unicorns.
198.23.5.11 about 2 years ago
And “The Minions” are below deck,doing the steering.
l3i7l about 2 years ago
To escape this Poseidon Adventure, Noah & company took off in the Hindenburg. They headed for the Airport, only to find a Towering Inferno as a result of an Earthquake.
JosephShriver about 2 years ago
Well, they changed the story of Noah once for the movies, this would be an interesting mashup of stories
willie_mctell about 2 years ago
Moses and Noah Go on a Cruise.
christelisbetty about 2 years ago
It’s nice to see that his age , Mel Brooks is still writing and producing.
GG_loves_comics Premium Member about 2 years ago
It’s summertime. I’d go see it.
LeslieAnn Premium Member about 2 years ago
We see two humans onboard. Both male. Huh
Night-Gaunt49[Bozo is Boffo] about 2 years ago
“WHAT A 10,000 YEAR OLD HISTORY OF THE WORLD WOULD BE LIKE”
Creationism means humans and Mesozoic dinosaurs co-existed. Humans and Permian dimetrodons co-existed, too. Paleozoic trilobites crawled in the shallow water while humans walked the shore, although no fossil record of them exists after the great Permian extinction. The sea giants megalodon, the giant shark, swam in the oceans with reptilian plesiosaurs, mosasaurs, pliosaurs and the giant armoured fishes of the Devonian, the placoderms.
Woolly mammoths preserved in the Siberian frozen muck during an Ice Age that must not have happened, walked the Earth while pterosaurs (extinct 65 million years ago) sailed in the skies above them and Tyrannosaurs hunted on the plains. Humans walked under lepidodendrons, the giant Carboniferous fern-trees we thought extinct along with the trilobites, 250 million years ago. Silurian Eurypterids, the giant sea scorpions, hunted in the shallows. Human-ancestor primates like Australopithecus and other species of humans like Neanderthals, must have also shared the Earth with modern humans, if creationism is true.
Creationism means no fossils millions of years old. All that life preserved in rock lived no more than 10,000 years ago (and in some schools of creationism, 6,000 years ago). It must have been a frighteningly dangerous time, with all those giant predators on land, in the sea and air. And all of these creatures disappeared from the planet before 3,600 BCE, when the world’s oldest writing system was devised. Why? Because there is no written record of any of these plants, fish, arthropods, dinosaurs and giant mammals. If it were true some would still be about now and all the fossils would be inextricably mixed in the fossil record instead of in their proper layers found all over the world.
keenanthelibrarian about 2 years ago
There seems to be some confusion here – Moses (if he ever existed) was said to have the tablets with the laws written on them; Noah (if he ever existed) was the one who saved his family and the fauna of the Earth during the Great Flood (see Utnapishtim, in The Epic of Gilgamesh).
neatslob Premium Member about 2 years ago
Where are the bears?
kjnrun about 2 years ago
Titanic came out in February, not in the summer.
DaBump Premium Member about 2 years ago
Pffft. LOL. Yup, that’s about what kind of mess Hollywood would make of it nowadays.
Bill Löhr Premium Member about 2 years ago
No one ever talks about the plants. How did they survive under water for 40 days?
bakana about 2 years ago
Wait, where is the Beautiful Girl he is supposed to fall in love with?
wordsmeet 4 days ago
So the ark is the next thing James Cameron will go looking for?