Off the Mark by Mark Parisi for June 11, 2024

Regular sloths, not Ninja.

It’s only fair.

No, we charge by the foot, not the toe.

be thankful they’re not horses

Which one of em mild mannered average lookin sloths is actually Ninja Sloth?!!!

There’s no discount because it takes a really talon-ted nail technician to do the job.

But it takes longer to do you cuz you’re so slow.

I asked my barber why I don’t get half price on my haircuts when I only have half the hair. He’s heard that one too many times to even reply.

It takes them so long to sit down and get it up, you have to charge them double.

If they get their nails filed down, I hope they don’t fall out of the trees.