Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for October 26, 2005
October 25, 2005
October 27, 2005
Transcript:
"Well, Pig...it didn't work. The one guy our whole divided country could get behind can no longer play centerfield...I guess we're doomed to work this out ourselves." "Hey by the way, did you ever hear from Rat?" "Not since we lost him in the middle of the desert...Wonder what he's up to?" "Salt Lake City, Utah" "Your application to open up a chain of men's entertainment clubs is denied...Please leave our state." "@&@#."
Rat, it’s all about appearances here. Don’t say you’re opening a chain of gentlemen’s clubs to the zoning board; just say “private club for members” and let word of mouth do the rest. You’d be surprised at what you can get away with here, and even who patronizes such things. And if you couldn’t find a beer here, you’re dumber than Pig. Utah was the first state to repeal Prohibition in 1931 when the 21st Amendment declared it unconstitutional. Compared to some states, our liquor laws are downright &!@#! (gah! Utah censors won’t let me use the world “liberal!”)