Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for October 03, 2012

He must have been trying to win 1,000,000 bucks from Monopoly at McDonalds.

No comment, but still a comment.

What if God was one of us. AND fat. Or say, a “fat” head?!. . ..

if we want to curb obesity, how about putting a tax on fast food chains.

Oh, for the love of Jeebus…

I don’t want to go to Heaven if it means spending eternity with righteous blowhards like Nabuquduriuzhur.

Jeffrey Dahmer converted to Christianity, so I guess he’ll make it into Heaven then? But if I give away all of my money and feed the poor but not believe in Jesus, then I’ll go to Hell. Something’s wrong here …

And never forget: The people with the most faith are suicide bombers.

Thanks, but I will be very happy to get to the Rainbow Bridge. And where are Rat and Goat today – it already looks like heaven!

I have had that done to me often back when I was hitchhiking around in the 60’s. However, I got some good rides too.

Rat helps out the fat guy, by holding a door for him,Rat gets to go to heavan, and the fat guy goes to hell. Where is the justice?

I regret having to be the one to break the news to you, Rat. But that won’t cut it. You’re still going to The Other Place unless you change your ways, which seems not to be in the cards….

@Fadeelah Al Deayea

الدهون شخص I can’t remember any of the Arabic lessons I took; how do you transliterate that?

Not only is going down he’s hitting the very bottom.

Who would have thought there was this much pent up Dietrich Bonhoeffer out there?

What I have never understood about the whole Jesus/salvation thing, nor has any Christian ever been able to explain to me is this: God is supposedly perfect, i.e. omnipotent & omniscient. And yet, God created humanity in God’s image and was then surprised when humanity turned out to be basically a bunch of turds. But God still loved his/her creation, so to reconcile them back to God, God was forced to commit deicide. So the actual experience shows (1) God is not perfect, and (2) justice (not love or God) is the greatest ideal/power since God had to take the fall for humanity vs. God simply being able to show mercy and bring everyone back into the fold. The facts though are just the opposite of what is preached every Sunday in churches. I am always curious (and amazed quite honestly) at how people like @Nabuquduriuzhur reconcile these discrepancies.

walked. . .slowLY.There, I feel better.

As ye sow, so shall ye reap… don’t let the Pearly Gates hit you on your way out.

Wow…what a lot of depicting Christians as evil. Most of us are not judgmental people like Nabuquduriuzhur and understand that anyone can be saved. But we must try and be nice to EVERYONE no matter what their religion or non-belief. And we shouldn’t judge other people. Judgement is God’s. Not mine, not a priest, nor anybody’s here on Earth. Somehow I don’t see God as punishing people who have led a high moral life and helped their fellow man even if they claim they don’t believe. Actions speak louder than any words a mere human can mouth. And, like every Christian out there, I screw up and sin. All of us do. Only God is perfect. And even he made the platypus (LOL and, no, I don’t believe in creationism).

Awwww. Rat’s just an old softy at heart, isn’t he?

HEAVEN MAY BE GLORY BUT HELL IS WHERE YOUR FRIENDS ARE!!!!

@ Proginoskes I doubt you have anything to worry about – heaven is all about living eternally with the Saviour who loved you enough to die for your sins. Obviously it makes more sense to you to spend eternity in eternal torment with all those atheists and liars and sexual perverts etc. If a few hypocrites stand between you and God – remember – they are closer than you are. Not good logic.

No, No No… Rat.

You are going WAY down below.

LOL xxx

Come to your senses rat. In heaven there ain’t no beer, you know.

Patience is not Rat’s virtue.

Everyone who imagines gong to heaven and hell will be surprised when they get where they are actually going!

He has some leverage…to the scales of judgment,but the tipping point?

Pretty funny after I visited Google/translate. You write الدهون شخص , but I see fat people. You are right of course, some exercise, and proper diet work wonders. Gotta give them credit for walking in the first place.

Good Rat, let the door close slowly, like Leo’s garage door Guillotine…

The amusing thing is that each of us automatically thinks that we’re better people than Jeffrey Dahmer. You can’t know that if you lived his life — if you were born with his genes and his brain wiring, had his upbringing, and shared all of his life experiences — that you wouldn’t have been just as bad. The most you can say is, “I hope so.” As do I, for that matter..“There but the grace of God go I” is an expression you don’t hear much anymore, and that’s too bad. Compassion and humility is the only acceptable response to depravity and evil on someone else’s part..Our friend Nab was correct in what he said. But fewer words are better than many. (Saint Francis of Assisi once advised, “Preach the gospel always; use words only when necessary.” He was pretty cool.) Jesus himself used short, pointed parables to make his point…one of them is about a servant who owed his master so huge an amount of money that he could never repay it, and he would have been clapped into debtors’ prison forever. He pleaded with his master for mercy, and his master, out of compassion, forgave him the debt — in effect, repaying himself what he was owed out of his own pocket. And that’s the gospel, right there.

It has recently been reported that the Hubble Space Telescope has captured the farthest-ever view into the universe, a photo that reveals thousands of galaxies billions of light-years away.

Prior to that it had been reported that in that part of the universe that has been measured out to 14 billion light years, there are 30 billion trillion stars (suns), or 30,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 stars.

That number is, to me, unimaginable and makes me think that it is virtually impossible that we are the only life in the universe. The worst odds I can think of are the US PowerBall Lotto, where the odds are about 80 million to one. If the odds of life elsewhere are a million times worse, that would make them 80,000,000,000,000 to one. 

Thus, assuming odds a million times worse than the Power Ball Lotto, there are 375 billion (375,000,000,000) stars supporting life. That would be 375,000,000,000 different life forms. Assuming that, from the intelligence standpoint, we are average, it would mean that there are 187,500,000,000 life forms out there that are smarter than we are.

Add to all this the fact that a million years is virtually nothing over the life span of the universe. So it is entirely conceivable that some, if not many, of these life forms could have started a million years before life on earth did. Considering how far man has advanced in just the last 100 years makes it unimaginable for me to see where we will be in 1,000 years, much less what some life form might be like and capable of with a million year head start on us.

Now try to work God, Heaven, and Hell into all of the above.

I’ll bet Proginoskes wants to feed the poor with someone else’s money. Yes Dahlmer can make it if he truly repents. But only God knows that. Eternal life is about being in the presence of our Creator. Just because you feed the poor, that doesn’t necessarily mean you wish to be with God. He won’t force you to. You will just go to sleep at the second death.

hell would be going to work at your job for an enternity

Religion was created by man, therefore can be (probably is) flawed. Men decided what books to put into the Bible, men decide how to interpret, men decide on additional rules..To those who don’t believe in a Higher Power or Creator: practice meditation and discover your own spirit when you quiet the mind and ego.

i mean putting a tax on how much calories that food has. like, if mcangus burger meal has 1500 calories, add $15 tax. but, stuff that has no calories, no added tax.

@plus4, I didn’t intend to distort anybody’s story, I was simply relating how I understood Christianity’s core structure based on my interaction with followers of the faith.

Ah, Rat, you’ll be going a little lower than the angels.

It’s rats like Rat that give rats a bad name.

Cartoon-Boy on WGN-TV today, 3 X 12: Pastis interview.

Yeah… You’re doing a great job of not judging others…

Ah intentions. Do not let the door hit you on the way out! Here, let me help you out!

smack!!!

You’re forgetting that Nab’s religion is true, and all the others false. How does he know? Because that’s the one Nab believes! It’s a lot like being patriotic: “Patriotism is the belief that your country is the best country in the world, simply because you were born in it.”Nab and the other christians disagree with the muslims, who disagree with the hindus, who… And where is the evidence to decide who is right? You guessed it—there isn’t any.

No, my dog is right next to me.