Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for June 24, 2014

Rock on, Rat!

I learned a long time ago to never argue with Google Maps. Whenever I second-guess it I end up in the middle of nowhere. Apple Maps, on the other hand…

Rat-A-Tat-Tom-Tom

Even my Garmin, while cruising down the interstate, will occasionally tell me to get off and then get back on at the same exit. Most of the time it is trying to protect me from a 10 minute delay, but not always.

I’m reminded of going on a trip a few years ago with my mom and uncle. The purpose of the trip was to gather genealogical records. My dad’s side of the family and mom asked both my uncle and myself along just in case she needed biological descendants. Of course going down none of us knew exactly where we were going and so we relied on her GPS, which managed to get us lost trying to find the city hall. On the way back though we knew exactly where we were going (his house since we’d picked him up) and both my mom and uncle probably knew a dozen different ways to get there. Now that was fun, the GPS telling us we were going to turn in so many yards and my uncle gleefully flipping it off because we didn’t have to make a turn that was only going to make the trip even longer.

GPS wasn’t a bad idea, unfortunately the folks programming the maps that GPS uses have made such terrible mistakes that it becomes less reliable. Good to have it as it’s often programmed with little things that might be important, like restaurants, gas stations, banks, hospitals. But sadly we hear more and more frequently of people who rely too heavily on their GPS rather than on common sense. Like folks who drive right into the ocean because their GPS told them that was the route they wanted to take.

Next up on Rat’s radar – radar!

I’m with Rat on this one.

unfortunately Rat was discharging a firearm without a proper backstop which negates the message…..

My first GPS once insisted that I turn right right this second! while I was on an overpass.

But that’s still not as bad as the earlier standalone map program that I asked for the best route to drive to work. It decided that an irrigation canal was a road and insisted that I drive on that for six miles.

What I find amazing about a GPS is that it will route you (typically) where the route is shortest even though it takes you into heavily-trafficked areas — just to save 500 ft. in total distance. The device is OK for unfamiliar areas, but when you know the best route to take, it’s amazing just how wrong the programmers can be. And for the stubborn thing to repeat “U-Turn when possible” every block… well, sometimes it’s best to just leave the thing off.

How long has Rat been packing heat? Does he have his CCL? And if he does, will he be able to keep it, given his “reckless discharge of a firearm within city limits”?The Law has eyes and ears everywhere nowadays….

moral of the story, don’t steer Rat, in the wrong direction

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nfUD0WhE264&feature=kp

I can picture Rat’s response to the instruction to punch a time clock!

A propos of Pearls in the first part of June, I was catching up on my newspaper reading and came upon this article about Bill Watterson’s collaboration with Pastis. I’d seen bits of what’s covered here, but thought it was a good summing up (maybe you’ve seen it before): http://www.tampabay.com/features/popculture/bill-wattersons-pearls-strips-to-be-auctioned-for-charity/2184799

Friend of mine once got an urgent phone call from his kid, who said the GPS was telling him to turn onto a road marked “DO NOT ENTER—WRONG WAY.” We finally figured out that the GPS wanted him to go northbound on the four-lane, but instead of having him go across the bridge and turn onto the northbound on-ramp, it wanted him to go the wrong way up the southbound off-ramp and continue north in the southbound lanes. All we can figure is that the GPS was programmed in a country where they drive on the other side of the road (China, maybe?)…

Wish I could do that to all cell phones that people use during movies.

I’ve long maintained that ANY computer, and now computer related device, is a direct decedent of H.A.L.I can hear him now, “Sorry Rat, I heard what you said.”

Rat killed Mr. Droid with a Revolver in the Coffee Shop. But I always pictured him as the 9mm type.

In our case, it wasn’t the GPS’s fault that the Interstate had recently been modified: it was realigned slightly and a new bridge + elevated structure built to go over a state highway. The GPS thought that we were on the (old alignment of) the state route when we were actually above it on the (new) Interstate. It panicked and told us to make a U-turn and get back on the right highway… then calmed down when we got back on the old Interstate.

So Janis, from Arlo and Janis, didn’t heed the warnings of her phone, now it is dead. And Rat, took too much stake in what his phone said, and it, too, is dead. Sad day for phones in toon land

Several of my friends feel this way!

My latest experience with a GPS was last week. It was to a location I wasn’t entirely familiar with, but had been along part of the route many times. So, we followed what it told us to do, because I was curious. And it doubled the length of the trip, both in time and distance.

Oh, also, it wasn’t even close to the final destination. It told us to turn off on a completely wrong road, past where we were supposed to go.

It scares me that a whole generation is growing up without the knowledge of how to use a real map. Imagine the chaos that would ensue if something happened to the GPS satellites!

So, now rat is packing heat.

Excellent strip!

xxx

Our GPS kept trying to tell us to turn left, turn left! as we drove down the freeway. It insisted we were in the middle of the Bay.

@c.daviesMe too!!!! Absolutely can’t stand those obnoxious beep-beeps. Why couldn’t they have made it a nice bell sound at least?

Makes me want to cheer and set off fireworks.

Google maps took us to a school on the right side of town instead of the business we were going to 30 blocks away.

I tired using it a couple times—Google Maps—but when it told me to turn on Pwee-bo Street and took me up Elepahant Hill on narrow little streets with blind turns that could hardly accomodate one car, I decided that was it. It was Pueblo St., and though the directions would get me there in shorter distance, the time (the only consideration in LA) and danger level was considerably higher. Oh, and it also pronounced Sierra Madre as Sarah MaidRee or something similar.

The apartment complex I live in has a sign to attract new people that reads:

“Turn off your gps. You are home”

What idiot needs a gps to get somewhere they go everyday

My wife was at a hotel, calling the airport shuttle to get her. The shuttle operator said there was no hotel at that address — it was just a vacant lot. So they sent the shuttle to the hotel a block away. (My wife’s hotel was a year old; the shuttle company’s GPS map was obviously older.) And this was a company which specializes in picking up people at hotels!

Good one!

That back up noise was because my brother was killed by a milk man in our driveway. My father a lawyer went to washington to make sure nonother 3 year old died

I always wanted to do that to my garmin!

I notice a lot of GPS users fail to update their units often enough even though the service is usually free(however the cheaper units may not be able to use this function….sigh).I learned how to use a map and compass in the Scouts which served me well in the Army LONG before GPS was even thought of outside of science fiction!I also notice that the US Govt is unloading any handheld units older than 2 years……..a warning there?

Rat finally got a gun!

The classic GPS blunder, in my opinion, was the one in Great Britain that instructed travelers that the best route from points A to B involved driving off a 400 foot cliff, landing on the road below. Granted, it may have indeed been the shortest route, but certainly not the best, or even a viable one.

and this is why i have google maps