Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for February 14, 2016
Transcript:
Guy 1: Hello senator, here's million dollars for your super pac. I'd like you to kill a banking bill that's hurting my business. Guy 2: Whoa, whoa, you've stated a quid pro quo. And that makes this illegal. Guy 1: A quid pro what? Guy 2: A quid pro quo. An explicit exchange of money for a favor. And that is illegal, immoral, and repulsive. Guy 1: So now what? Guy 2: So go back out. Then come back in. And this time just say you'd like to donate a million dollars to my super pac. Guy 1: Hello, I'd like to donate a million dollars to your Super Pac. Guy 2: Well, thank you, sir. How is business? Guy 1: Not good. There's a banking bill I don't like. Guy 2: I don't like that bill either. I think I'll kill it. Guy 1: And what was that? Guy 2: Legal! Goat: I think our system needs fixing. Rat: How much more fixed can it get? Pig: Yay! The system is fixed! The system is fixed!
BE THIS GUY almost 9 years ago
Mr. Moneybags is just exercising his first amendment right of freedom of speech.
Rod Gonzalez almost 9 years ago
Beat Rat up within an inch of his misbegotten life.
Sherlock Watson almost 9 years ago
Using this logic, you could shoot someone and then say that you’re innocent — the bullet did the killing, not you.
charne almost 9 years ago
We had campaign finance reform before it was killed by the right wing elements of the Supreme Court and the GOP. Money isn’t free speech. Money is money.
knight1192a almost 9 years ago
Rat’s too on the mark here. And if there had been another panel in this instance I’m betting Goat would say “You’re right, maybe we should repair the system.”
Today’s strip has me hearing this song, particularly a specific line in the second verse.
Proginoskes almost 9 years ago
Jeb! will fix it!
herdleader53 almost 9 years ago
@elisem4. You got it backasswards. The NRA logic is that it is the fault of the person who pulled the trigger. It is the anti-gun nuts view that the bullet (gun) is responsible for killing someone so we should get rid of all guns everywhere regardless of how responsible the owner of the gun may be.
Brass Orchid Premium Member almost 9 years ago
The trick is to get around the Constitution enough to have enough power to make it worth selling.
markmoss1 almost 9 years ago
As long as campaign finance laws are written by incumbent politicians, they’ll only accomplish two things:
1) Protect the incumbents. Turnover in Congress is now far less than it was before they passed the first campaign finance laws.
2) Define how to legally accept bribes.
Gibby 24 almost 9 years ago
I’m surprised the stefan didn’t make a valentines comic, I’m glad he didn’t though
hdcanterbelle Premium Member almost 9 years ago
it is indeed fixed.
Tom almost 9 years ago
Or grossly overpay someone “speaking” fees. That’s bribery.
Wichita1.0 almost 9 years ago
(See ‘way above) Mmmm. I’m pretty sure the bullet and the gunpowder had a common agenda. I smell conspiracy!!
Dacker Premium Member almost 9 years ago
I think Stephen Pastis is “Feeling the Bern!”
fotodik Premium Member almost 9 years ago
The reason this occurs is that businesses cannot voteso how else can their concerns be addressed
Guilty Bystander almost 9 years ago
And this only happens here? Welcome to human nature, which can’t be legislated.
aaajma almost 9 years ago
Trump is the first to self-finance, so he is not indebted to billionaire donors, special interest groups and lobbyists.
kaffekup almost 9 years ago
Well, to be stickler, you can’t give the senator the money for a superPAC. They are prohibited ftom coordinating with pacs, which is why JEB? Waited so long to become a “candidate”, so he could get it set up and know who gave what, and what they wanted, before officially declaring. Although he had said he was running, but we can ignore that.
jbmlaw01 almost 9 years ago
The cure for getting money out of politics is to eliminate bureaucrat control over the economy. But the uneducated believe – one cannot truly use “think” here – a better solution is less freedom, more laws. No regulator is cost-effective; that sentence is true with any inflection..
AtariDragon almost 9 years ago
In more sensible countries, the donation would be to the senator HIMSELF, not to a PAC. What sets this country apart is that we are deeply committed to the idea of democracy, but at the same time we believe (on the basis of good evidence) that voters are morons who will pretty much elect whoever spends the most money on campaign ads. Of course, if voter are really that stupid, democracy is fundamentally broken and simply cannot work.
hashtab almost 9 years ago
We really do need a political revolution in this country. Electing Bernie Sanders as our next president would be a great start, but if we do, a lot of people are going to be just like Pig here and say “the problem is fixed!”
We can’t let that happen; we need to keep the pressure up on every level of government by voting out the corrupt and voting in candidates who speak for the people, not corporations and not the 1%.
Easier said than done, I know, but if we don’t at least try then we can never succeed. We have to start by trying.
paul GROSS Premium Member almost 9 years ago
or you could donate to my “Global Foundation”
Cameron1988 Premium Member almost 9 years ago
Rat pronounced it wrong. it’s pronounced “Goobermint”
dukeallen almost 9 years ago
If I had a million, I’d pay for funnier strips :)
BillyJoBob69 almost 9 years ago
I live for the days that Stephan actually gets it
mattro65 almost 9 years ago
It was both branches of the Money Party. Are you familiar with the Citizen’s United decision? It was made by a conservative Supreme Court.
Thatguy999 almost 9 years ago
Thank you Citizens United
Number Three almost 9 years ago
Sorry, Can you repeat that, Pig? I didn’t hear it the first time!
xxx
celeconecca almost 9 years ago
nail on the head, Mr. Miller, nail on the head.
starcandles Premium Member almost 9 years ago
The best strip today. Punning taken to extraordinary heights. Very funny, yet sad at the same time.
Miss Buttinsky Premium Member almost 9 years ago
Kudos, Stephen! Keep’em coming.
amaryllis2 Premium Member almost 9 years ago
Bravo, Pastis, well done. Thank you!
nanellen almost 9 years ago
Excellent, The strip is now on my frig,
abbybookcase almost 9 years ago
i believe i do, i believe it’s true,i believe exactly what they tell me to…tom paxton
Pierre L. almost 9 years ago
First I laughed, then I cried. The truth always hurts!
Stephan, you are a genius!. Unfortunately, looking at the comments suffering from Intellectual Myopia, you don’t have a chance in hell to be recognized as a genius.
Life is tough! It must be lonely at the top. I can only guess!
Stream of conscience almost 9 years ago
Guns don’t kill people. Bullets kill people. Ban bullets.
TCA1799 Premium Member almost 9 years ago
Succinct, perfect!
Sisyphos almost 9 years ago
Well, of course the system is fixed, Pig. Greased, you might say. That’s why we have so many professional, lifelong politicians and need term limits!
Joken' almost 9 years ago
It is now a government by the lobbiest, for the lobbiest
SwimsWithSharks almost 9 years ago
Who can fix this for us.
Maybe someone with a lot of money?
David Almeida almost 9 years ago
Business as usual in little Rhode Island.
V45mikky over 8 years ago
The big government types assume all bills that come out of congress are good and accomplish what was intended. If it is bad and make things worse or more expensive it should be killed.
LeoDaSavage almost 7 years ago
I will give my senator a crushed donut as Pig did. Is that illegal?
LOAFY almost 4 years ago
Goat may be the educated one, but Rat knows how the system really works
alantain about 1 year ago
Good. It’s probably better that it doesn’t reproduce.