Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for May 09, 2019

They thrive on crushed dreams and ketchup soup.

A writer dreams with the success, his editor works to crushed his dreams and return him to reality. And sometimes they thrive.

Fran Leibowitz said that writer fame is the perfect amount of fame. You get money and good seats at events without the stalkers.

But Stephan writes this. Just go about saying nothing

This scares me. Writing is the only dream I have left.

I’m already published. Does that count?

Self experience, eh, Pastis?

Why writers write? It’s called writing, that’s why!

Then it turns out that the cover art is horrible, and no one buys it based just on that, and that gives it a horrible rating (“No one bought it; how good can it be? Meh, I’ll just go with the newest Patterson…”)

All comments come from unpaid writers………Croc Power !

You do have to write well for the first reaction.

What is mightier than the sword? The pen is. (Watch the spacing).

Looks like comedians and writers both draw on anger as source material.

…Paaay—per-back writa! Paperback writer!………

I have a couple of books. Yippee. A friend of mine has a dozen out — yippee. Nobody cares (with the possible exception of other writers). What we thrive on is the utter indifference of the vast majority.

I think they just do it for the online comments & reviews

The worst is when you get hateful reviews on Amazon and you can tell they never even read your book.

Ah, Stronghold: Exodus…

Traditional ways to be immortal: write a book, plant a tree, have a child.

I write for self expression, and don’t care if it’s published or not! Writing frees my soul and lifts my spirits!

Bernie Sanders" If you want to get rich, write a tell all book". Even if you have to lie.

I’m published (I wrote a letter to the editor), and I got neither response.

“Tell me again why writers write.” Your basic assumption is off, Pig. Writers write because they are writers. “Why do you assume I have a choice?” Stephen King, Danse Macabre (1981).

I like a spoon of crushed dreams on my ice cream.

Wait-wait! I have Stephen King’s How to Write book here somewhere, maybe it has the answer. Remembering my five English grammar and lit courses, it was very hard. But it did come in handy later when I was writing Disaster Recovery Exercise scripts for my company.

Why you don’t often see professional writers at school on Career Day.

Pretty bitter, Pastis.

I asked Neil Gaiman why he wanted to be a writer, he said because he had stories and didn’t trust others to tell them for him.

Why is someone asking the (apparently male) author to “have my babies”? I realize this is a comic strip, but still…

Did Pastis write a book??

Wow, dude. You wouldn’t even exist if it wasn’t for Pastis

I remember the first time I was published. My wife simply asked, “How much does it pay?”

i’ve had three murder mysteries published, my fourth will be out this summer

Rat is an inspiration – for suicide.

thrive on crushed dreams? there goes my writing career

funny!

I’ve sold 22 novels to publishers large and small in several countries. A week before my first novel came out, the publisher was taken over by a conglomerate and dissolved. My book, not the new owner’s stock in trade, went straight to the warehouse and stayed there.

But I later got the rights back and sold it to Time-Warner. You win some, you lose some.

pain is my fuel

There is always this reaction to contend with: “Will you gave me some copies?”

I’ve had dozens of research papers published in scientific journals. No books yet though.

I was going to write, but then I went left!

And the second book, and the third book… I’ve published ten and I’m still waiting.

My third most unexpected publication, a letter in Avengers #22 in 1963.

My second most unexpected publication, seeing the same letter reprinted in miniseries Avengers 3.1 in 2017. [This was a 54 years reboot of the 1963 story.]

My absolutely most unexpected publication, on the Marvel Comics official website, an interview with me about seeing the letter reprinted and how comics have changed over the decades.

Real writers write the way most of us eat or breathe: No choice, though you can delay it a bit sometimes. The old “Suffer for your writing” shtick is true, but for a different reason: It’s hard to earn a living wage when your mind and spirit are spinning around how… exactly… to convey the scene in your mind.

Life of a writer

Do cartoonists have the same experience?

Yeah. I never get the adulation I deserve! (Or do I, and that’s the problem?)

Part of the reason I dream of acting.