Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for March 11, 2021

Lower expectations lead to greater happiness.

“If at first you don’t succeed, try again. Then quit. There’s no sense in being a damn fool about it.” —W. C. Fields

good try anyway, Pig

Kind of a variation of “I’m a statistician, not a cheerleader”.

My motivational poster: When you’re already at the bottom, you don’t have to worry about being over the hill.

“So we cheated and we lied and we testedAnd we never failed to fail it was the easiest thing to doYou will survive being bested” CSN

Failure is not an option, It’s mandatory.

Failure is not an option

it is a requirement

Failure isn’t an option? Is it a necessity?

Pig succeeded in failing! calls for more beers!

When you fail just blame others, isn’t that what politicians do?

Sometimes you fail many times before you succeed!

So you wants motivations? Here you goes.

Nothing is impossible in life. All my life I has achieved the impossible.

“The best way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing.” – Walt Disney. He didn’t say doing what. So I choose doing the impossible. And nothing is impossible.

“The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees opportunity in every difficulty.” – Winston Churchill. What he didn’t say is that what to do when you sees an opportunity to fail in a difficulty.

You learns more from failure than from success. Don’t let it stops you. Failure builds character. Build a character that’s bigger than the biggest building and breaks the world records.

It’s not whether you get knocked down, it’s whether you get up. Unless you’re knocked out cold, that is.

“If you are working on something that you really care about, you don’t have to be pushed. The vision pulls you.” – Steve Jobs. He’s right. Me vision pulls me towards a new monocle.

Failure is not an option. It’s a consequence. Try and try until you die. And then, six feet under you lie.

What they doesn’t tells you in em motivational sayings is that they all comes with a conditions apply.

Old Reader’s Digest line: If at first you don’t succeed, you have plenty of company!

I guess Pig thought he was writing demotivational posters?

today i breath…tomorrow i pass gas.

Pig has a bright future in humorous demotivational posters, though.

I prefer the demotivational posters at www.despair.com.

nice

So, Pig is speaking words of wisdom…

Pig isn’t even trying.

I’ve lowered my expectations to the limit, so even if I fail I succeeded

But with failure, PIG, you’ll never learn to be better next time! Start reading the want ads…

Pig should write for despair.com

Great stuff: https://despair.com/collections/demotivators

And got a job with Demotivationals.

I’m pretty sure that most of those species that went extinct were those who were constantly happy.

Here’s mine: Happiness is a choice.

Since I gave up hope I feel much better.

He should get a job working for demotivators.com. He would fit right in there.

Failure is not an option. It’s a configuration setting under Menu.

When life gives you lemons, squeeze the juice in someone’s eyes for a really painful sensation.

Failure is trying to get Go Comics comments to show within a reasonable time period today.

When the going gets tough? QUIT

If at first you don’t succeed? QUIT

When life gives you lemons? QUIT

Failure for submariners turned out to be bad, very bad.

“Hanging in there is so much more work than just letting go.”

When we say “failure is not an option” then there can be no risk taken and “success” gets redefined. Sometimes it is appropriate, but there is always negative consequences to address later.

“Easy come, easy go.” —That’s motivational enough for your job search; right, Pig?

Pessimists are never disappointed.

It’s official: I am the Pig character in this comic. Nice, but somewhat clueless. Could be worse – could be Rat. But I will keep striving towards Goat.

shameless plug. https://despair.com

Move to the department making funny posters.

Obviously he took a page from the leftist/commie/dems…set the bar as low as possible, then trip over it.