Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for September 20, 2021

You get new joints every 25000 miles (35000 km for our friends outside the US).

And a new back too for me, please.

I feel like today’s comic was meant especially for me. I need new knees already.

Ask Tithonus…

In the immortal words of Pig.

Maybe it would be better to be immoral . . .

New knees are, I’m told, much harder to recover from than new hip joints. But better yet, one of the things I have read about lately is a way to insert new cartilage without making a bit opening. The cartilage was already in use, has already shown that it (sometimes, some) reduces joint inflammation and EVEN SMOOTHS out the SURFACE (some). The new technique allows it to be inserted laparoscopically!

Want immortality? Try finding the Fountain of Youth and drinking therefrom day in and day out.

After the first 10,000 years you get used to the pain.

Immortality isn’t bad, until the day another comes sword in hand, to cleave my head from my shoulders.

Rest easy, Pig. I’ve heard that in the big Sty in the Sky, you get a whole new you.

“May you live forever” is a curse in some places.

Some people want to live forever in heaven but don’t know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.

Don’t worry. The Alzheimers will make you forget all about it.

I’m afraid that I’m already past the Point of No Return.

My Best Friend has promised me a new body, among other things.

I just hope I outlast my pacemaker battery, the rest can stay as issued.

Immortality will make you the bee’s knees, Pig!

Being immortal means being around when the sun goes supernova and swallows the earth whole. Fun.

You said it, Pig!!!

The “Golden Years” aren’t so golden!

Boy can I relate to this strip… :’(

It’s not the bee’s knees.

GIVE ME IMMORTALITY OR GIVE ME DEATH!

Seriously, wouldn’t immortality get REALLY BORING after the first Millennium or two???

That’s another reason why “Heaven” sounds like it HAS to be incredibly dull!!

the new knees better be the bees’ knees…

Good thing I don’t plan to be immortal.

Immortality sounds pretty interesting.

And ankles and lower back and… never mind ;)

I hope I get new knees, as well as a new back, and a few other things.

It’ll come with no knees.

Knew knee in May, 2020. Five weeks and five days of physical therapy. I now climb stairs with ease. I replaced a dryer belt the other day (kneeling & getting up). I set off metal detectors. I still can’t moonwalk.

Just have Pastis draw you a new pair, Pig. Knees, people, I meant knees. Jeez….

You could become a pork chop doner just in case.

With my luck, if I were immortal, they’d make something I did in the past a life sentence and convict me.

For the Christian, Hebrews 9:27 says " Just as man is appointed to die once, and after that to face judgment, …" Pretty clear statement that we continue to exist after the body dies if we are to FACE A JUDGEMENT. JMnsHO; ymmv.

There’s a price for everything, I guess.

We are all immortal. That’s not the question.

It’s always something! Take one day at a time, PIG! It’s easier that way to cope!

Definitely want a new improved version of my body in immortality……

I’m getting a new shoulder in October, which is coming right up. Yikes!

I’ll never complain about getting older… first, I’m not ready for the alternative. Second, some 58,000 of my brothers in arms didn’t get to enjoy the privilege. That said, I think that if we live long enough, the grim reaper will start to look like the angel of mercy!

My attitude is, “Immortality? I should live so long!!”

The Greek myth of Tithonus should give us all pause. He was granted eternal life but not eternal youth. He withered away until he turned into a cicada, and the gods, in one of their few moments of pity, let him die.

“The woods decay, the woods decay and fall,The vapours weep their burthen to the ground,Man comes and tills the field and lies beneath,And after many a summer dies the swan.Me only cruel immortalityConsumes; I wither slowly in thine arms.” “Tithonus,” Alfred, Lord Tennyson.

Ironically, 78-year-old symptoms last week.

Jonathan Swift, in Gulliver’s third voyage, described the Struldbrugs in the nation of Luggnagg, who are immortal but continue to age and become infirm physically and mentally. He noted that most of them are not even able to enjoy reading, because by the time they reach the end of a long sentence, they no longer remember the beginning.

I feel that way some days.

….and with a new spine. We should really have a list ready, just in case.

Pretty much; yes.

Amen, Pig.

I can relate to this! :D

Which reminds me, I need to make an appointment with my orthopedic surgeon.

Eternal life comes with more than just new knees.

Ask Chiron about immortality and pain.

“Life is pain, Princess, and anyone telling you differently is selling something.”

Nope. The pain just gets worse and worse and then they cut your pain meds so you’ll welcome death that much more.

The course of vampirism isn’t the drinking of the blood, but the love forrver.

Interesting, thoughtful comments today.

There’s a Greek myth about that. Eos, the dawn goddess takes a mortal lover named Tithonus. She gives him immortality but not eternal youth. Oopsie.

“It means being exactly like Rat.”

“It does? I didn’t know Rat was immortal?”

“Oh! I thought you said immoral!

Sorry, Pig. It doesn’t get any better.

What’s that once-popular saying, “Life’s a beach, and then you die”?

Easier to trust Jesus Christ and live forever with Him in a new body.

All immortality gets you is Batman as an enemy.