Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for July 12, 2022

For once, I agree with Rat.

One could argue that his friends, who are all getting married, are playing Russian Roulette.

How profound, Rat.

Bob, be satisfied with yourself, your friends have their own lives to live

Musical chairs is more fun unless you are competing against a 300 pound twerk master.

Musical chairs is training in how to be pushy in order to win. I hated it.

Whenever I start to think that maybe I’m left all alone and a big loser, I reflect on all those people, some who I know, who are even worse off despite having inescapable “companionship.”

Too many people treat marriage like a game of musical chairs.

Marriage is the first step toward divorce.

“Marriages are made in heaven, Divorces are made in Reno” a friend once said!

Musical chairs? Naah. Look more like rat race.

I’m a bachelor for life, baby! I ain’t going to spend my life with a ball and chain.

“It’s a TRAP!” – Admiral Ackbar 52 BBY – 34ABY

it doesn’t look like musical chairs there’s too many chairs

More like musical beds.

It’s probably best to not rush things, but what do I know? I’m just some random guy on the internet.

I got married at 58. First for me, second for my wife. Best time of my life.

Musical chairs is real life, too.

Nothing is guaranteed in life…

No, Bob, don’t feel like that! There’s nothing wrongWith being an old maid. There is something very wrong with entering into life-changing commitments merely because you feel it’s what’s expected.

There’s a penguin next door who wants to get married.

Marriage is overrated but not nearly as much as weddings

You find the right partner, life can be good; wrong one can make life a living misery. (works the same with husbands too)…..

The way the rules keep changing,real life can SEEM like Musical Chairs!!

Neighbor Bob was Neighbor Cassanova before Rat introduced him to Lorena Bobbitt.

Well, Bob, on the plus side, your sperm-bank deposits mean you have thousands of children before them.

Story of my life, Bob! I may be a 35 year old man, but my brain injury in my early 20s prevents me from having the desire to seek a relationship! It doesn’t help that SSD is only around $900 a month and I live with my parents.X(

Speaking of Real Life:

If a girl walks in and carves her name in my heart

I’ll turn and run away

Everyday we’ve all been led astray

It’s hard to be lucky in love

It gets in your eyes

It’s making you cry

Don’t know what to do

Don’t know what to do

You’re looking for love

Calling heaven above

Send me an angel

Send me an angel

Right now, right now

I know they say all the good ones are taken neighbor Bob, but wait..Amber Heard is available now.

Cut to the scene from the 80’s Twilight Zone movie “Wanna see something really scary?”

Wrong person to talk about this with, Bob.

Look, Neighbor Bob. Here’s the bitter truth: as a character in “Pearls Before Swine,” you are always a loser (and frequently dead). Deal with it.

Neighbor Bob, just be patient and see what happens to your friends over the next 10-20 years. I guarantee half of them will divorce.

I’d rather be lonely than bored or in conflict, and I’m too busy to be lonely…

I thought Rat was going to say “Getting married wont’ change that.” — Also, it IS like musical chairs, it’s just that, instead of all the chairs being taken, all the women you’d really want to marry and might want to marry you get taken.

If you’re OK with leftovers, just wait a couple of years …

Just wait until the music start again

Go MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way).