Pickles by Brian Crane for March 09, 2016

A likely story, Earl!

Ask a curious question and receive a humorous answer.

Happened to me once!

Get a black eye doing something stupid and then you have to think up some lie to explain it. Happened to me before. No, I will not tell you what I was doing stupid.

It could happen to you, but it won’t happen to me.

You’re losing your grip, Earl.

I once broke a blood vessel under my eye, giving myself a “shiner”. When people inquired, I’d say " You should see the other guy. " or some such nonsense. It was much easier and less embarrassing than telling the truth – I was sitting on the toilet, and sneezed….

Gary Moore (I’m showing my age!) once appeared on “I’ve Got a Secret” with a shiner. He’d poked himself in the eye putting on his hat.

I still think Opal punched him…

Never punched myself in the face, but I have, twice now, ripped my sheets trying to pull them up.

An old joke few will get, even though they get the gist:.“Man, you look awful. What happened?”.“My wife, my stove-wood and none of your business.”.Maybe if we substituted “skillet” or “remote” or, in Tiger Woods’ case, “golf clubs.”

I would find it funny until it happened to me.

xxx

It could happen.

I’m surprised Earl has that kind of punching power

a friend of mine who’s hubby liked to play catch with the deodorant before putting it on and getting dressed, 1 day missed and gave her a black eye. her coworkers all instantly thought he’d been abusing her. and they knew her husband! gentlest soul in the world. crazy world we live in.

Just buy sheets for a bigger bed – queen or king size for a full bed, king for a queen bed. Don’t know what you do if you have a king size bed. A lot of people have quit using flat sheets and blankets, and just use a fitted sheet and comforter.