Pickles by Brian Crane for October 20, 2018

“Maybe. Right now I’m trying to get the total of pluses and minuses.”

Hmmmmm……that all depends.

No need to personalize it Opal, the study had to do with married men vs single men, not married men who are married to you. It’s married men who are married to anyone.

He’s not living longer, she just makes it feel longer.

I think not.

He has to think about it.

I believe the phrase he was thinking was “It’s your fault”

And women live 10 years less

“We had 10 fabulous years together. But we were married for 40.”

Well Opal if “Nagging” counts then Thank-You :-0

Earl has to decide if it is worth it.

It is partly because you are eating much healthier than you would if you were on your own. So say thank you now before it is too late.

So if Opal knows Earl is in his bonus 10 year stretch ; then she somehow magically knows the date of her death??

Come on Earl, you know you get the last words. Yes dear.

they only look 10 years older.

I’ve heard this same idea that married men live longer for most of my life. They never seem to mention whether women live longer. Or shorter.

Recent research indicates that frequent sex increases the length of your telomeres, so I’m thinking he’s SOL.

I always heard that married men die sooner because they want to.

What?!? Nagging increases longevity? !? His longevity? Or hers?

Actually it just feels like 10 years longer.

that’s why he’s thinking

10 extra years married to Opal? That is NOT worth a thank you.

So, she’s giving him ten years left to live, tops.

Married men don’t actually live longer, it just seems like it.

Yeah, a longer life, but a life shared with Opal (and her sister). A zero-sum game for sure.

If he hadn’t married her doesn’t mean he’d have remained single…I suspect.

Don’t marry if you don’t want to and get a divorce if it is soured.

Actually this is rather like an old Jack Benny routine with a mugger who demanded of Jack, “Your money or your life.” In this case, Opal is saying, “Married to me or your life.” Jack and Earl are giving the same response; “I’m thinking, I’m thinking!”

I think the explanation from evolutionary biology is that the healthiest men attract mates. That is, married men live longer because women choose to marry the men with the highest probability of living longer.

From a practical standpoint, if you have someone else around to call 911, cheer up when you’re depressed, and insist that you go to the doctor, you’ll probably live longer.

Consider also that married men are more likely to have children than single men. It’s never been clear to me these studies successfully ruled out progeny as a significant factor in survival.

So, apparently Opal doesn’t expect Earl to be alive in another 10 years.