Pickles by Brian Crane for April 05, 2019

Ooh, who remembers the wood chipper scene in Fargo? I’ll bet Earl and Opal both do.

For crying out loud, Opal, Earl is — like — 99.0001% still asleep. You cannot expect him to automatically be happy-go-lucky after waking up. (Sorry, Peggy, I know not to what you’re referring.)

Opal, Earl hasn’t put his hearing aids in yet. I learnt the futility of trying to hold any conversation with my dear old man before he had inserted his hearing aids. :)

good and morning are contradictory terms!

Hold on, Opal! Earl hasn’t had his coffee yet!

What a demanding old hag!

I’d like to be greeted by Margot Robbie in the morning, but that ain’t gonna happen either

A). I love selective hearing more than wishful thinking, and B). Earl, c’mon and “spread the joy.” Whirrrr…. Zzzziingggg! Poof!

Only works in the movies !

Cheery Opal thinks just because SHES AWAKE, Earl should be too…Oy!

Or like, “How about sex?” — “What, you’re going to paint the deck?”

I once asked the Late & Unlamented how he was doing, first thing in the morning. He turned and glared at me. “What business is it of yours?”

If you don’t want to be greeted with “Eh” in the morning, then let him get up in his own time!

Well, this just turned all kinds of dark….

Boy! Opal is sure in a good mood today!

I always thought it was ‘Little Mary Sunshine’.

Better than napalm in the morning, I guess.

I woke up grumpy this morning. Tomorrow, I think I’ll let him sleep in.

Use it in a sentence please.

I prefer quiet in the mornings like the Bible says, "He that blesseth his friend with a loud voice, rising early in the morning, it shall be counted a curse to him. (KJV) Proverbs 27:14

There you go.

My mother used to greet me with “Good Morning Merry Sunshine”. When I was 8.

I’m on team Earl on this one.

Who wouldn’t?

Ugh, I hate people like that. Please, just leave me alone and let me regret not dying in my sleep for a bit longer.

And then, some nice, crunchy Soylent Green.

Whenmovie came out you could buy them at Walmar saw a whole shelf full

One cannot but think of Little Mary Sunshine, the musical number from Reefer Madness featuring Kristen Bell and John Kassir (parental discretion advised):

https://youtu.be/gy2L2t0j9vI

Is this what Opal really has in mind? Even in The Brady Brides, one of the newlywed husbands stirred up trouble due to his “midnight raids on the reefer,” as TV Guide put it at the time!

Well that escalated quickly!Divorce.. Connecticut style..

Sounds like a plan Earl……..right over her face

He is deaf without his hearing aids. I know I am and am unable to comprehend what people are saying without them

’Actually saw a forensic crime show that reported this usage, but the perp did not leave a leftover bottom leg. Nor did he thoroughly wash the chipper, no run the wood through first. The lady was gorgeous.

Morning routine at our place:

PJ stumbles out of his cave, does his customary morning cleanup, gets dressed, gets coffee, sits down at his computer.

About a half hour later, I stumble out of my cave, do morning cleanup & get dressed, stumble out to get coffee: “Grumble grumble grumble BAH.”

PJ: “Humbug.”

At which point I sit down at my computer at the opposite end of the living room & we might not say anything to each other for 2-3 hours after that.

Living with a fellow NON-morning person: PRICELESS.

Check out panel 3, I don’t believe I’ve ever seen Opal smile before.

Earl’s thinking, why didn’t I think of that before?

Here: https://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2017/06/ea586bf412a2c86ed6772d008b4e76da.jpg