Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for August 26, 2015

Transcript:

richard's poor almanac deleted birds by richard thompson not to birdwatchers - the following are no longer recognized by the audubon society. commonplace dullard no distinguishing marks of any kind. hangs around other, cooler birds who wish it wouldn't. call - "hey wait up wait up c'mon guys wait up." eastern pottymouthed snark assails bird-watchers with vicious insults & profanity. call - "get a life you what're you lookin' at take your binoculars and ." great downy evermolt difficult to actually see as it's always surrounded by a suffocating cloud of feathers. call - "cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough." flightless grouse plods up and down the eastern u.s. whining the whole damn time. call - "ow ow ow ow my feet hurt my feet hurt ow ow ow ow." unmitigated gull this one's a show-offy little creep. call - :look at this plumage! great, huh? you guys from national geographicc? how about a picture? you wanna see my mating dance?" virginia glebe a duck-like fowl that wanders erratically across northern virginia. possibly apocryphal. call - "glebe glebe. glebe. glebe. honk. glebe glebe glebe." image not available.