Rip Haywire by Dan Thompson for January 27, 2012
January 26, 2012
January 28, 2012
Transcript:
Goons: Sorry, ponytail, I got orders to leave you out here too. Dutch: A girl your age should know how to disarm a gunman from that distance. Fawn: I must have missed that day at girl scout camp, grandpa! How-did- you had no pulse! You were dead!!! Dutch: Nonsense, honey. One time when I was in Japan I hooked up with this ninja dame - she was real cute - taught me how to slow down my heartbeat. Fawn: Can you slow mine down now!?
FEI (For Everyone’s Information), Dutch used YOGA to slow down his heartbeat. Contrary to popular belief, ninjas never slowed down their pulses. That was something more akin to Indian sages. Ninjas controlled their breathing rates to minimize sound. There would be no point in slowing down their pulses because they were usually hung, drawn and quartered even if they were dead.
And I’m not making this up. The Japanese poet Matsuo Basho was in fact a great ninja himself, and his observations of the ninja culture are well recorded in his writings.