Rip Haywire by Dan Thompson for July 17, 2019

Yes, Jenkins is a very disturbed individual. Going to Chuck E. Cheese would be enough proof, but alone?

Just when ya think things couldn’t possibly get any cheesier…

Is Jenkins that ex-Sheriff Cobra (as Corrine,) kept trying to seduce?

Artist: Tim Wilson

I got combat training from overseas

Now I’m the bouncer at the Chucky Cheese

I think I’d rather do a year in jail

Than another afternoon

In Chucky Cheese Hell

Chucky Cheese Hell

I’m in Chucky CHEEEEEEESE HELL!

We cater to a snot nose clientele

In Chucky Cheese Hell

Mama drives Chipper to the Chucky Mall

Watches him wallor in some plastic balls

The band sucks and the pizza’s cold

And you eat it with a slobberin’ four year old

In Chucky Cheese Hell

Puke with pepperoni still smells the same

You waste a paycheck on a video game

Lined up out the door like The Stones are in town

There ain’t enough Chucky ass whippin’s

To go round

In Chucky Cheese Hell

I’m in Chucky CHEEEEEEEESE HELL!

Squallin’ youngins and a skee ball bell

In Chucky Cheese Hell

I did two tours of duty in Vietnam

Fightin’ jungle rot and braving napalm

But they couldn’t torture me half as well

As them little birthday $*#**$!

In Chucky Cheese Hell

Chucky Cheese Hell

I’m in CHUCKY CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESE HELL!!

Ow Wo Wo

And to hear the song…https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G4xg6WeB8_A.

If he wasn’t a madman before he went in…

KA-MADMAN!

Hello… This is Rip Haywire. I can’t come to the phone right now. I’ve just come across a pit of rattlesnakes with machine guns for rattlers, and they’re slithering over some land mines. Leave a message after the beep.

Yes, I know… I missed yesterday’s strip. When you’ve gotta write, you gotta write.

And the Dragoncat Award for Best LMAO goes to Strawberry Hellcat! I tried reading the words without laughing. I couldn’t. I just couldn’t…

And Bonus Points for the YouTube connection!

Why would he go to such a place for pizza?

Dang it, Jenkins!