Ripley's Believe It or Not by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for September 16, 2021

Okay. It was apparently aided by the wind.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l1d1-AKUNYc&ab_channel=ThriveOnVibes

A little late tonight, so I’ll try to make this one count:

An old man is on his deathbed. His three adult sons (for you ethnic joke fans, their names are Pablo, Pierre, and Mamout) are gathered around him, and after his eyes have been closed for awhile, one speaks up. “I don’t think we need to buy Dad a big, fancy funeral,” he says. “A short notice in the newspaper will be enough.”

“We don’t need to buy him an expensive casket, either,” says the second son. “A plain wooden box will do just fine.”

“Box, schmox,” chimes in the third. “I say we just cremate him and put the ashes in a paper bag!”

Just then the man’s eyes flutter open. Weakly, he says, “Boys, I’m about to die. But I have to come clean with you; this has been weighing heavily on my conscience for some time.”

“What is it, Dad? Tell us, please,” the oldest boy says.

“Well, boys, your mother and I never actually got married.”

The sons look at each other in stark amazement. Finally the youngest son stammers, “You mean we’re…we’re…”

“Yup,” the old man says. “Cheap ones, too.”

Onde o senhor Gonçalves otem todo esse cartão? (Where does Mr. Gomçalves get all that cardboard?)

Henry and Dallas have too much time on their hands.

A cubic inch of bone could be one mil thick and 31.6227766 inches by 31.6227766 inches. Five pick-ups spread (assuming 2,500 pounds each is 12,500 pounds) over that area is 0.0125 pounds/square inch. Hardly noticeable….(Somebody check my numbers)

Dallas and Jon are currently trying to set a record with s’mores.

And one can break their human bones with a fall off a bicycle.

Take care, may not relied upon orthopedic sturgeon Abe “Fish” Vigodord be with you, and gesundheit.

I guess everybody’s got to do something.

I’d like to see ‘em slingshot a snickers bar. There’s a higher degree of catastrophe inherent in launching complex “sweeties.”

If you exert force on the ends of the bone but, not in the middle then maybe. Like an egg can be squeezed from the ends and take a lot force, but squeeze from the sides you get egg on your hands.

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And people say young people don’t set their sights very high when looking for great accomplishments! Way to go. Utah boys!

You notice Dallas and Jon set a world record, not a new world record, because no one was ever stupid enough to try it before.

I’d like to see them try that on a hot summer day when the marshmallow melts mid-flight

It’d be a neater feat to substitute a cubic inch of compressed bone for the marshmallow. To paraphrase Idiocracy, “Oh, my teeth!”

Might want to switch to Zoloft.

I don’t think “Ripley” has done all his homework. I’m not buying that marshmallow bit, so “Ripley” best get some proof posted, and it better be good.

Almost any hard material can support the weight of five pickup trucks if it’s only one cubic inch.

That had to be a very hard marshmallow. I can’t see a fresh one going that far.