Ripley's Believe It or Not by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for October 03, 2021

The following is a story about grief. You may ask if this is a proper subject for humor, or, as Gahan Wilson remarked when he saw a parade of people reverently holding aloft an image of a big zero, “Is Nothing Sacred?” Well, let’s find out…

A man is visiting a cemetery when he notices another man weeping at what seem to be multiple graves. His curiosity gets the better of him, so he goes over and asks the man which grave holds the remains of whoever he’s mourning.

“All three of them,” the man replies. “My first, second, and third wives.”

“Oh, that’s tragic,” the visitor says. “Tell me, what did they die of?”

“My first wife ate poison mushrooms and passed away. Ironically, my second wife also ate bad mushrooms.”

“And your third wife?”

“She died from a broken skull.”

“Oh, my God – a broken skull?! How did she break her skull?”

“She wouldn’t eat the mushrooms.”

Wikipedia refutes this claim about the first reading lens: The earliest written record of magnification dates back to the 1st century AD, when Seneca the Younger, a tutor of Emperor Nero, wrote: “Letters, however small and indistinct, are seen enlarged and more clearly through a globe or glass filled with water”. Emperor Nero is also said to have watched the gladiatorial games using an emerald as a corrective lens.

There may have even been reading lens back as far as BCE.

Why not call the hybrid fish a Paddle-On?

I wonder how a sturddlefish deep-fried flesh tastes with with tartar sauce and malt vinegar alongside french fries. Not to mention how hefty of a price for its roe to make a tin of caviar.

I’ve got an orange and white manx, I wonder how much the job of mayor of Talkeetna, AK pays?

Betcha that cat was more efficient than his two-legged counterparts!!

How is the caviar from that “sturddlefish”?

What a relief, to know that if I were alive 1000 years ago I’d be able to see little tiny letters.

Did they nickname him Mayor Manx? That was a character from Swat Kats.

That’s an old cat!

I wonder if some of the reading stones were ulexite? Maybe not, as it doesn’t usually magnify a lot.

Can we elect the cat for President? Sounds like he would be better than our last two presidents.

Do you love me?

Now that I can dance?

I once mailed a peacock to Jumpin’ Jack Flash who read the address label wrong and went to the mill lake with Bob for catfish.

Take care, may prolific Norwegian rhubarb pudding eschewer Horst Fiordstord be with you, and gesundheit.

In Kentucky, we call the paddlefish a spoonbill catfish!

How did the writers write so small readers needed reading stones, writing stones?

If your town’s choices for government are so bad that you’d vote in a cat, bulldoze it over.

Coming in 2022: Crappiar!!!

Reminds me of the time in Wisconsin they were running out of Coho Salmon and fishermen were complaining abou that, so they bred them with a Walleye Pike – a faster breeding fish. The Walleye didn’t fight as hard as the Salmon and the cross of the Salmon / Walleye also didn’t fight as hard and fisherman complained about that. So they got the Muskellunge, a fierce fighting fish, and bred it with the Coho / Walleye breed and got an extremely fast breeding fighting fish. The problem with this Coho / Walleye / Muskellunge breed – or the CoWalSki – was it couldn’t swim.