Last night, Charlie Fogwhistle commented that I must have a lot of great jokes from the pressbox. Well, after 32 years of being up there, it’s true. Because of that, I’ll post yet another true story from the world of high school football. Charlie, this one’s for you!
Several years ago, my partner and I were getting ready to go on the air to announce a high school football game. It was October, and there was pink everywhere. The officials had pink whistles and flags; the cheerleaders had pink trim, and pink balloons were all over the stands. The stadium announcer decided he’d better explain, so he got on the P.A. And loudly announced that all the pink was for “National Breast Awareness Month.” However, before he could correct himself – “I mean, ‘National Breast CANCER Awareness Month’” – the stands erupted into gales of laughter, whoops and catcalls. (After all, for high school boys, every second of every hour of every day is Breast Awareness Time…) The announcer never lived it down, and it was another evening my partner and I really couldn’t make eye contact.
A man comes home drunk late at night, and hears his cuckoo clock strike four a.m.
Vaguely remembering he promised his wife to be home before midnight, his mind races to come up with a plan. Quickly he imitates the clock’s call seven more times, sure that his wife will be none the wiser. When he finally goes to bed, his wife doesn’t say a word; no lecture, no tirade.
The next morning, his wife says “You’ll have to take the clock for repairs, dear.”
“Why’s that? It worked so nicely when I got home at eleven.”
“Yeah, well first the clock called four times, then seven more times, then it gave a burp, hit the wardrobe and got some serious hiccups. That’s not normal for a clock.”
I may live near Oregon, but thank goodness the fishy mishap didn’t happen on the way to Seattle (which I also don’t live near; a few counties away) or else Pike Street wouldn’t have its stock.
eromlig almost 3 years ago
Last night, Charlie Fogwhistle commented that I must have a lot of great jokes from the pressbox. Well, after 32 years of being up there, it’s true. Because of that, I’ll post yet another true story from the world of high school football. Charlie, this one’s for you!
Several years ago, my partner and I were getting ready to go on the air to announce a high school football game. It was October, and there was pink everywhere. The officials had pink whistles and flags; the cheerleaders had pink trim, and pink balloons were all over the stands. The stadium announcer decided he’d better explain, so he got on the P.A. And loudly announced that all the pink was for “National Breast Awareness Month.” However, before he could correct himself – “I mean, ‘National Breast CANCER Awareness Month’” – the stands erupted into gales of laughter, whoops and catcalls. (After all, for high school boys, every second of every hour of every day is Breast Awareness Time…) The announcer never lived it down, and it was another evening my partner and I really couldn’t make eye contact.
Zykoic almost 3 years ago
Hagfish story snot true!
therese_callahan2002 almost 3 years ago
“And he’s squirming like a centipede.”
Copy-&-Paste almost 3 years ago
Speaking of Gas Powered, no telling the volume level he let out from the OTHER end!!!
Charlie Fogwhistle almost 3 years ago
A man comes home drunk late at night, and hears his cuckoo clock strike four a.m.
Vaguely remembering he promised his wife to be home before midnight, his mind races to come up with a plan. Quickly he imitates the clock’s call seven more times, sure that his wife will be none the wiser. When he finally goes to bed, his wife doesn’t say a word; no lecture, no tirade.
The next morning, his wife says “You’ll have to take the clock for repairs, dear.”
“Why’s that? It worked so nicely when I got home at eleven.”
“Yeah, well first the clock called four times, then seven more times, then it gave a burp, hit the wardrobe and got some serious hiccups. That’s not normal for a clock.”
Until next time.
tremaine53 almost 3 years ago
When burping ‘accomplishments’ are deemed worthy of reporting, the reporting of flatulence ‘accomplishments’ is just around the corner.
NeedaChuckle Premium Member almost 3 years ago
Wondering why truck full of hagfish. Turns out they are farmed and sent to Asia. I haven’t a clue what they do with them!!
Huckleberry Hiroshima almost 3 years ago
And I’m sure he felt better for it.
Take care, may happy sousaphone player Gordon “Oomph Oomph Oompa-pa” Cassadord be with you, and gesundheit.
dv1093 almost 3 years ago
Neville’s mom is so proud. (What’s the big deal about a car/truck accident?)
[Unnamed Reader - bf182b] almost 3 years ago
Why was someone delivering 7500 pounds of hagfish?
joefearsnothing almost 3 years ago
I wonder if river shrimp in Japan are similar, if not the same, to the crawfish we caught in the creeks in Kentucky and used for bait?
hsawlrae almost 3 years ago
I’m sure Neville’s mother is very PROUD of him.
mindjob almost 3 years ago
I hope I don’t start finding centipedes in my sushi
Templo S.U.D. almost 3 years ago
I may live near Oregon, but thank goodness the fishy mishap didn’t happen on the way to Seattle (which I also don’t live near; a few counties away) or else Pike Street wouldn’t have its stock.
FassEddie almost 3 years ago
They better keep that 8 inch centipede the hell over there.
The Duke almost 3 years ago
Did they use the bulldozer to remove the cars or the hagfish?
Stephen Gilberg almost 3 years ago
Did he do it on purpose? And how loudly did he say “Excuse me”?
moondog42 Premium Member almost 3 years ago
Neville Sharp proving the old adage that the best defense is a good offense, by offending everyone within audible range.
zippykatz almost 3 years ago
Better to burp and taste it than fart and waste it…
NatureBatsLast almost 3 years ago
Oregon biologist’s are seeing the Columbia River becoming a good habitat for Shad.
Charlie Fogwhistle almost 3 years ago
What do you know? Another two-for:
There once was a religious young woman who went to Confession. Upon entering the confessional, she said, ‘Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.’
The priest said, ‘Confess your sins and be forgiven.’
The young woman said, ‘Last night my boyfriend made mad passionate love to me seven times.’
The priest thought long and hard and then said, ‘Squeeze seven lemons into a glass and then drink the juice.’
The young woman asked, ‘Will this cleanse me of my sins?’
The priest said, ‘No, but it will wipe that smile off of your face.’
Until next time.
Running Buffalo Premium Member almost 3 years ago
If they are going to remake “Revenge of the Nerds”; we know which role Neville will play.