Take care, may renowned town stinky gal Heather “I Knew I Could Blame That Corn All Along And Proudly Penned The First ’There’s A Fungus Among Us’ Lyric When I Was Only Twelve” Olfactord be with you, and gesundheit.
An old grandma brings the bus driver peanuts every single day.
At first the bus driver enjoyed the peanuts but after a week of eating them he asked: “Please granny, don’t bring me peanuts anymore. Have them yourself.”.
The granny answers: “You know, I don’t have teeth anymore. I prefer to just suck the chocolate off around them.”
A guy and his monkey walk into a bar. The monkey jumps on the counter and gobbles up a bowl of peanuts.
The bartender asked the guy, “Did you see what your monkey just did?”
The guy replied, “Yeah, he does that all the time. He’s always hungry. I’ll pay for the peanuts”, and hands the bartender a buck. The bartender clinks a couple of pennies as change onto the counter, which the monkey promptly grabs and swallows.
The guy said, “Oh he eats random things all the time, too”.
As if on cue, the monkey jumps onto the pool table and stuffs the cue ball down his throat. Sighing, the man brings out his wallet.
The next week, the man and his monkey go back to the bar. This time, the monkey sees cherries on the counter. He grabs one and treats it like a suppository, then removes it and eats it.
Disgusted, the bartender asks the guy, “Did you see what your monkey just did?”
The guy says, “Yeah, ever since he had to pass that cue ball he ate last time, he’ll be darned if he doesn’t measure everything first”.
During WWII the US Government ordered the cessation of bakeries slicing bread until the end of the war (for some reason – saving energy?) There was such an outrage from housewives that the ban only lasted about six weeks.
I’m aware of the corn s**t. It has also been called “Mexican Caviar” and is considered a delicacy. However, I’ve not tried it. Ironic that the s**t word is on the banned list and here it is listed on RBION!
While initially recoiling from the idea of deliberately eating corn fungi, I remembered truffles. A fungus dug up by pigs from down in the muck. It’s famously delicious. So perhaps it’s corn truffles.
Peanuts and smutty corn got a lot attention today, but much less attention to bread. So, before the night is gone, let’s see if there’s anything funny about bread.
Two slices of bread got married.
The ceremony was going quite well until someone decided to toast the bride and groom.
Charlie Fogwhistle about 2 years ago
Everybody knows that peanuts are legumes and not nuts. Don’t they?
Templo S.U.D. about 2 years ago
three food-related tidbits… nice
The dude from FL Premium Member about 2 years ago
Since corn sm*t is a delicacy of CA, will it not soon a be delicacy in the southern US
jmolay161 about 2 years ago
Insulin was also invented in the 1920s, for those who need to avoid sliced bread.
therese_callahan2002 about 2 years ago
Similarly, coconuts are just seeds, and Brazil nuts aren’t nuts either, I’ve been told.
TwoHedWlf about 2 years ago
OMG, So THAT’S what the greatest thing before sliced bread was!
MY DOG IS MY CO PILOT about 2 years ago
So was the saying before “The Greatest Thing Since Sliced Bread”, “The Greatest Thing Since Wrapped Bread”?
tremaine53 about 2 years ago
Pre-sliced bread was a very big deal in 1928, I guess. People must have been amazed and saying, “What will they think of next? Technology these days!”
Huckleberry Hiroshima about 2 years ago
Well, they aren’t peas, either.
Take care, may renowned town stinky gal Heather “I Knew I Could Blame That Corn All Along And Proudly Penned The First ’There’s A Fungus Among Us’ Lyric When I Was Only Twelve” Olfactord be with you, and gesundheit.
Nala the Great about 2 years ago
The stock market is eating a lot of my cash…ew!
Charlie Fogwhistle about 2 years ago
An old grandma brings the bus driver peanuts every single day.
At first the bus driver enjoyed the peanuts but after a week of eating them he asked: “Please granny, don’t bring me peanuts anymore. Have them yourself.”.
The granny answers: “You know, I don’t have teeth anymore. I prefer to just suck the chocolate off around them.”
Charlie Fogwhistle about 2 years ago
A guy and his monkey walk into a bar. The monkey jumps on the counter and gobbles up a bowl of peanuts.
The bartender asked the guy, “Did you see what your monkey just did?”
The guy replied, “Yeah, he does that all the time. He’s always hungry. I’ll pay for the peanuts”, and hands the bartender a buck. The bartender clinks a couple of pennies as change onto the counter, which the monkey promptly grabs and swallows.
The guy said, “Oh he eats random things all the time, too”.
As if on cue, the monkey jumps onto the pool table and stuffs the cue ball down his throat. Sighing, the man brings out his wallet.
The next week, the man and his monkey go back to the bar. This time, the monkey sees cherries on the counter. He grabs one and treats it like a suppository, then removes it and eats it.
Disgusted, the bartender asks the guy, “Did you see what your monkey just did?”
The guy says, “Yeah, ever since he had to pass that cue ball he ate last time, he’ll be darned if he doesn’t measure everything first”.
For now.
Binky about 2 years ago
The corn thing is just gross. (☞ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)☞
artegal about 2 years ago
Who the heck was the first person to look at an ear of corn like that and say, “I bet that tastes fantastic!”
dv1093 about 2 years ago
During WWII the US Government ordered the cessation of bakeries slicing bread until the end of the war (for some reason – saving energy?) There was such an outrage from housewives that the ban only lasted about six weeks.
198.23.5.11 about 2 years ago
It was a tough go inventing raisin bread—-the frist batch of raisins wouldn’t hold still.
ChessPirate about 2 years ago
“It’s not a tuber…”
paranormal about 2 years ago
Peanuts are legumes…
kaboobs about 2 years ago
Legumes is french for nuts…
WCraft Premium Member about 2 years ago
I’m aware of the corn s**t. It has also been called “Mexican Caviar” and is considered a delicacy. However, I’ve not tried it. Ironic that the s**t word is on the banned list and here it is listed on RBION!
JohnShirley1 about 2 years ago
While initially recoiling from the idea of deliberately eating corn fungi, I remembered truffles. A fungus dug up by pigs from down in the muck. It’s famously delicious. So perhaps it’s corn truffles.
The Duke about 2 years ago
Reminds me of when my Granny would make me a “wish” sandwich. She take two pieces of bread and tell me to wish it had some meat in it.
magicfever495 about 2 years ago
With the passing of the Queen, it got me thinking of my own time still to come.
I think I’ll be cremated, and my ashes put in a glass urn.
REMAINS to be seen!!!!
Charlie Fogwhistle about 2 years ago
Peanuts and smutty corn got a lot attention today, but much less attention to bread. So, before the night is gone, let’s see if there’s anything funny about bread.
Two slices of bread got married.
The ceremony was going quite well until someone decided to toast the bride and groom.
Charlie Fogwhistle about 2 years ago
Last call.
A piece of toast walks into a bar, and the bartender starts chatting with him.
“Where are you from? I haven’t met many pieces of toast.”
The piece of toast takes a long sip of beer, and says “Well, I was born and bread in New York.”
Until next time.
pbr50138 about 2 years ago
In Nam, we had a bread slicing machine in the mess hall.