I’ve been getting lots of “likes” on my current spate of true stories, so I’ll continue:
Many years ago, we had a phone number that was very close to that of a local hotel. One night, hours after my wife and I had turned in for the night, the phone rang, and I answered it.
“Thish is Room 901. I want a wake-up call for shix-thirty.”
“Sir, this is not the front desk,” I sleepily told the obviously inebriated man. “Somehow you’re getting an outside line and dialing a private residence. You have dialing instructions somewhere near your phone.” With that, I hung up and rolled over.
However, before my wife and I could get back to sleep, the phone rang again. Same guy, same slurred shtory. “Listen, fella,” I growled, “This is NOT the hotel! Figure out your phone system and LEAVE US ALONE!!”
We were actually back to sleep when the phone rang for a third time. I picked it up, thought for a second or two, and then said in as wide-awake a voice as I could muster, “Front desk…901? Six thirty? You GOT it, Sir!”
Specifically, it would take you one million days (assuming you don’t make any more money in the meantime).
I could say some pretty unfavourable things about billionaires, on this topic, but I feel like this is a topic where anyone who would want to listen probably already knows.
If you had a billion dollars and spent a thousand per day, it would take a lot less than 2,740 years. Don’t forget that the taxes would be a large percentage.
If you’d like to see graphically what a million, billion and other large numbers look like go to a You Tube video called “One Quintillion pennies”. It will amaze you.
I once read that shrimp are such prolific breeders that it’s very unlikely they will ever be endangered. And with over 2000 varieties, it seems even less likely they will disappear from the human food chain.
And there is at least one of each kind of shrimp in the craniums of politicians everywhere.
Take care, may frantic restaurant trash can searcher Enrique “My Contract With Guzman Is Here Somewhere I Just Know It He Is Not The Type Of Person To Prank Me I’ll Find It And I Will Run And Kick White Ball To Glory” Perierord be with you, and gesundheit.
If you had a billion and spent 10 grand every day? It would take you 274 years to spend it all. 10 grand every day! I would personally find that difficult to do, especially for 274 years!
Which makes it all the more astounding that Mike Tyson went bankrupt. He was never a billionaire, but he did make hundreds of millions over his career.
And Elon Musk was griping about the relative pittance he was giving Ukraine. Musk backtracked when people pointed out what a cheap sob he was. And a Putin stuck-up.
eromlig about 2 years ago
I’ve been getting lots of “likes” on my current spate of true stories, so I’ll continue:
Many years ago, we had a phone number that was very close to that of a local hotel. One night, hours after my wife and I had turned in for the night, the phone rang, and I answered it.
“Thish is Room 901. I want a wake-up call for shix-thirty.”
“Sir, this is not the front desk,” I sleepily told the obviously inebriated man. “Somehow you’re getting an outside line and dialing a private residence. You have dialing instructions somewhere near your phone.” With that, I hung up and rolled over.
However, before my wife and I could get back to sleep, the phone rang again. Same guy, same slurred shtory. “Listen, fella,” I growled, “This is NOT the hotel! Figure out your phone system and LEAVE US ALONE!!”
We were actually back to sleep when the phone rang for a third time. I picked it up, thought for a second or two, and then said in as wide-awake a voice as I could muster, “Front desk…901? Six thirty? You GOT it, Sir!”
He didn’t call again.
Templo S.U.D. about 2 years ago
So if you had one trillion dollars and then spent $1,100 daily, how many years would it take to use it all up?
monkeysky about 2 years ago
Specifically, it would take you one million days (assuming you don’t make any more money in the meantime).
I could say some pretty unfavourable things about billionaires, on this topic, but I feel like this is a topic where anyone who would want to listen probably already knows.
Bilan about 2 years ago
If you had a billion dollars and spent a thousand per day, it would take a lot less than 2,740 years. Don’t forget that the taxes would be a large percentage.
Copy-&-Paste about 2 years ago
In today’s economy it wouldn’t take long to blow a billion bucks.
DATo about 2 years ago
If you’d like to see graphically what a million, billion and other large numbers look like go to a You Tube video called “One Quintillion pennies”. It will amaze you.
Shirl Summ Premium Member about 2 years ago
If I had a billion dollars there would be a lot of people helping me spend it. I would give, give, give.
zerotvus about 2 years ago
give me a billion, i don’t believe you….
Charlie Fogwhistle about 2 years ago
I once read that shrimp are such prolific breeders that it’s very unlikely they will ever be endangered. And with over 2000 varieties, it seems even less likely they will disappear from the human food chain.
Huckleberry Hiroshima about 2 years ago
And there is at least one of each kind of shrimp in the craniums of politicians everywhere.
Take care, may frantic restaurant trash can searcher Enrique “My Contract With Guzman Is Here Somewhere I Just Know It He Is Not The Type Of Person To Prank Me I’ll Find It And I Will Run And Kick White Ball To Glory” Perierord be with you, and gesundheit.
LongWong about 2 years ago
I betcha Benjamin Buford “Bubba” Blue (in Forrest Gump) could name at least 2001
Andrew Bosch Premium Member about 2 years ago
What if that 1 billion dollars were Zimbabwe dollars?
Retrac Premium Member about 2 years ago
I guess I had better start spending $2,000 per day.
joefearsnothing about 2 years ago
Best one I’ve heard in a long time! ;o)
198.23.5.11 about 2 years ago
With 2,000 varieties,there should be a strong job market for removing those transparent shells before cooking them.
tremaine53 about 2 years ago
If you had a billion and spent 10 grand every day? It would take you 274 years to spend it all. 10 grand every day! I would personally find that difficult to do, especially for 274 years!
rbullfogg about 2 years ago
Money- interesting! YOU would be the key word! The time frame doesn’t include the government! :(
kaboobs about 2 years ago
Spend a thousand.. How about a test run?
Stephen Gilberg about 2 years ago
Which makes it all the more astounding that Mike Tyson went bankrupt. He was never a billionaire, but he did make hundreds of millions over his career.
Nancy Simpson about 2 years ago
And Elon Musk was griping about the relative pittance he was giving Ukraine. Musk backtracked when people pointed out what a cheap sob he was. And a Putin stuck-up.
JohnShirley1 about 2 years ago
Musk has his mom living in a garage. Really.
ekke about 2 years ago
Yeah, yeah, but who’s gonna limit themselves to $1k-a-day? I mean, by next summer that’ll buy you a sandwich — mebbe.
pearlsbs about 2 years ago
Theoretically if you had $1 billion and you could get at least 1% interest annually you could spend $27,000 every day and never run out of money.
WCraft Premium Member about 2 years ago
2k kinds of shrimp and yet – one kind of cocktail sauce works on all of them.
pbr50138 about 2 years ago
Luckily, I’ll never have to worry about what spend $1,000 a day on.