Rubes by Leigh Rubin for March 26, 2019

Quick close the curtain Clark Kent is changing inside!

Who did it.

Why, we could put them on sidewalks all over town!!!

and bring Superman back out of retirement…

It smells like urine.

And how would we annoy people if we used those?

It’s so futuristic.

But what if you need to find a phone number? Can we put in them some sort of reference book with people’s phone numbers so you can look them up?

It would also help in muting those who believe their conversations are so interesting that everyone around them must want to hear it as well.

Or even better—Maxwell Smart’s “Cone of Silence”.

Oddly enough, if you’re tossed in a cell they take away your cellphone.

Should make them cylindrical and and call them cones of silence (even tho that’s not accurate) “Chief? Chief?…”

But I like eavesdropping. Hearing other people’s problems make me feel better about my own sad, lonely life. Especially when their problems are so hilarious!

It used to be that hearing voices no one else can hear was a sign of mental illness. Now with Bluetooth, it’s quite normal.

If it folds up and fits in a pocket or holster, I’ll take two. Otherwise fehrgedaboudit.

Love it!!!

Do most of those people really care about others listening on one them? If so wouldn’t they not make calls in a crowd?

Back in the day I could find them almost anywhere, now they are extremely scarce. I still refuse to own a cell phone.I’ve never found a need to have one. I’ve always got 2-meters.