Speed Bump by Dave Coverly for May 18, 2021

“Da, I KNEW squirrel was nogudnik!” Boris Badunov

When we fail to get the bird… ahem, I mean squirrel food out by the expected time, the little varmits come around and pound on the dining room window (which happens to look out over the deck where we put out the feed). Literally: they run up on the box by the window and slam into it and bounce off, looking slightly dazed. Then another one does it.

Don’t get in a battle of wits with squirrels robbing your bird feeder, it’s a losing cause.

They’re delivering it to their friend in Reality Check.

I think here would have been an opportunity to include a wedgie.

Squirrel stopper is backwards. Otherwise, it is almost impossible to stop every squirrel.

I always suspected that squirrels ran an organized crime syndicate. Well, perhaps a disorganized one.

Grab your shotgun! Have you seen the price of birdseed lately?

Wow. A rare talking squirrel!

I don’t take any side in the competition for food between birds and squirrels. They’re all wild animals and I expect them to fend for themselves. I’m not going to put out bird seed in feeders just to lure the birds closer so that I can look at them. But if I did, I couldn’t complain if the squirrels tried to “steal” it.

Killing the golden goose comes to mind. That guy has a Costco membership.

This is why you should be affectionut towards squirrels.

In other words – cut out the middle man?

I stop everyone that comes onto my deck. First, the cage, then the pellet, then they are part of the food chain for the hawks or cats!

Squirrels are small time; for a big hit like this raccoons are going to be involved.

And people wonder why “Twirl-a-Squirrel” was such a popular bird feeder. (Check it out on YouTube)