Ted Rall for November 25, 1996

Transcript:

Narrator: He didn't know a souffle from mortar until he joined the Food patrol: A subsidiary of the U.S. Army. "I was a lowly pastry chef in operation carbohydrate, bored and dying for action... Man 1: Can you take out the blueberries? Gracias. Man 2: I hate somalia! Narrator: Naturally, I was driven to talking trash to my superior officer. Man 2: Insolent dog! You wouldn't know a decent mousse from a piece of dung! Man 3: Fine, private! I'm sending you to bosnia! Narrator: There in Bosnia, operation escargot gave me my first taste of combat! Food fight. Man 2: Die serb pigs! Narrator: My buddy was pinned down by heavy fire. I just couldn't get him in time... I watched him die in my arms. Police Officer: Who'll feed the world... now? Man 2: I will... I swear it! Narrator: A perfectly good short-order cook was dead, but at least I had a medal to show for it." Man 2: I'm gonna miss that mustard vinaigrette corporal. Next mission: Zaire!