Ted Rall for March 12, 1998

Transcript:

The world of politics was stunned this week when George McGovern announced his return to the fray. (Man: My attorneys are filing federal charges of fraud. election manipulation against the republican party and the state boards of election. The McGovern lawsuit seeks to overturn the results of the 1972 election because of well-documented dirty tricks committed by the Nixon campaign. (Man 1: I'm tired of being Mr. Nice leftie Martyr and I deserve the big job in the big house they cheated me out of!) So far legal experts agree that the aging liberal has an open-and-sit case. (Man 2: It only seems fair to retroactively install the '92 democratic nominee as president- after all, he's entitled to compensation for his ordeal.) (Man 1: True.) Wall street reacts favorably to McGovern's legal assault on the presidency. (Woman: America will save $2.8 billion by canceling the 2000 election.. Bond yields will drop 13 basis points, thus reducing the deficit accordingly.) Democrats are giddy at the thought of ditching heir apparent Al Gore. (Man: George has refused to abandon his principles but we're still working on him!) Even the republicans say they're backing the former senator of South Dakota...