Ted Rall for November 30, 1998

Transcript:

Man 1: Do you swear to tell in the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God? Man 2: Well, that depends. For one thing, my faith in God has been sorely tested. And who knows what God will do to me if I lie here, assuming that God even exists? Also, my lawyer has advised me not to volunteer any information beyond narrow responses to specific questions, so "the whole truth" is out of the question. And I can't possibly guarantee that I won't mention some superfluous factoid that may be untrue through no fault of my own- for instance, what if I give a time based on a slow watch? Obviously that "nothing but" thing has got to go. Man 1: Do you promise not to climb over the stand and slaughter everyone in this courtroom? Man 2: Maybe..